I hope I’m wrong, but: I’m guessing that most of us have been the victim of workplace sexual harassment at some stage
The Plumbette recently shared her experiences as a female plumber working in a male dominated career, and sadly it seems sexual harassment is still alive and well in the tradie world.
I also found myself on the receiving end of sexual harassment early on in my career (about 25 years ago), working in the payroll office of a large organisation.
There were about 20 or so staff and only 4 were women – and the other 3 worked in different sections to me.
During the time I worked there, I had to endure:
- topless pictures of women hanging above some men’s desks. They weren’t big, only photo size, but that’s not the point. They shouldn’t have been there at all.
- plenty of teasing and innuendo as I was engaged to be married at the time.
- opening my desk drawer to find a girlie magazine left open in it.
- one older fellow who never missed a chance to brush up against me.
It all made me feel very uncomfortable. Even then, young and naive as I was, I knew it was sexual harassment. Eventually I plucked up my courage and talked with the manager about it, something which was incredibly difficult for me. His response? Basically that I was over-reacting and needed to take a chill pill. I was made to feel that *I* was the one with the problem, and that I should just accept that boys will be boys, build a bridge, and get over it.
I said as much in my comment on the Plumbette’s blog post and in return she made an excellent point. “Boys will be boys” – but would my husband do that to his colleagues? Of course you know what the answer is, because I’m pretty sure it would be the same for your husband, partner or father. NEVER. Real men show respect for women, whether it be at home, at school, in an office, or in a male dominated field such as plumbing.
If boys will be boys, I think it’s time they mann(er)ed up and learned some basic manners!
Have you ever been sexually harassed in the workplace? What did you do about it and were you taken seriously?
Me says
I don’t recall ever being sexually harrassed at work – or any kind of harrassment actually – but that may be largely due to the persona that I put out. Everyone thinks I am this very confident, high achiever which is so far from the truth but clearly I have managed to pull it off at work for 30 years !! I think it is totally wrong and nobody should have to put up with it. I know that there is no way that A would treat anyone like that.
I think it is great that you (and The Plumbette) have blogged about it – hopefully it will bring more awareness to others except I think that the people that should be reading about how wrong it is probably don’t read blogs !!!
Have the best day !
Me
Janet says
Maybe I sound like a prude from this post – but honestly, I’ve heard sexual banter and whatever at work and it doesn’t bother me – this was different, if that makes sense? Anyways, hopefully it is not so common these days.
Rhianna says
I don’t think that I have ever been sexually harassed either and I am sorry to hear that you have lovely Janet. Made worse by your stupid manager. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely, and that is a gorgeous photo!
Janet says
LOL glad you like the pic. Yes it was very distressing at the time, I should have mentioned that my hubster HATED my workmates and what they did to me and by the time we’d been married 6 months, I’d left that job.
iSophie says
And a big part of the problem is that the men don’t see it as harassment alot of the time. I think there needs to be more education, and at least (I hope) things are moving in the right direction. But you are always going to have the few that just don’t care or see it as an issue, sadly. #teamIBOT
Janet says
I hope it’s a lot better these days … and if it happened to ME now I’d be a lot more assertive.
mandy says
Argh, sorry you had to go through that. That would have been difficult and awkward indeed! I think sexual harrassment is sometimes so broad that people take advantage of that fact and discount their acts. Like how many men don’t count putting up topless pictures of women as sexual harrassment. They are quick to define sexual harrassment only as actually ‘touching or speaking to a woman inappropriately’ so in their minds, they are not committing the act. I definitely think there needs to be more education on sexual harrassment in the workplace.
Janet says
I wonder if it has improved at all since my experience?
The Plumbette says
Janet, Thank you for your blog post and mentioning me and my experience in the workplace. I agree with iSophie that boys/men don’t think it’s harassment. The boys at Tafe never blinked or thought twice about sexual innuendo or event thought that what they were doing was classed as sexual harassment. You have reminded me of a situation where I had a stand up match with one of the boys in class because he told me that it’s every man’s right to look at porn and that my husband probably had a stash at home. I was ropable but found my argument futile because I was in a class full of boys who thought I was ‘naive’. Education is only partially the answer. There needs to be some sort of penalty to those who do it. But it all comes down to he says/she says and nothing really gets resolved.
Janet says
Sadly, I think you’re right. Oh – and thank you for inspiring this blog post!!!
Emily says
One stands out in my memory – a male colleague sent me an email that said ‘You’ve been a naughty girl – go to my room’
I responded to it with just two words – NOT ON – and CCed his boss. Who, to his eternal credit, immediately came over to me and asked if I was okay and assured me this would absolutely not be tolerated.
Janet says
Wow, that is awesome that the boss backed you up!
Josefa @always Josefa says
Love the idea that real men show respect for women – that “boys will be boys” line is unacceptable, just as unacceptable as sexual harassment. Great post xx
Janet says
Thanks Josefa! The Plumbette really made me think.
Katyberry says
I was in the Navy for ten years but never felt harassed. BUT in heavily masculine working environments your sense of what is OK, what is normal, shifts. Certainly looking back there is plenty of fodder for harassment claims, but you kind of don’t notice, and (most horrifically) the women who fit in can be very quick to judge and harass those that don’t, much in the same way as the men. I have thought and said awful things about other women who chose not to become a part of the norm, or, in essence masculinise themselves.
With time, maturity and distance I can see much more clearly what was happening.
Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me says
A family member of mine was sexually harassed in her first ever job. She complained to management after she was cornered and asked to step into a room alone with the man. He was suspended. When he came back it started again. He would follow her outside of the office and even started catching the bus she did. It finally ended when he was stupid enough to put his harassment in writing. It is really scary stuff.
Janet says
Wow that does sounds scary – your poor relative.
Emily @ Have a laugh on me says
I used to work at a place when I was 18 – so nearly 20 years ago and it was just seen as banter! My boss used to make creepy jokes about customers and look me up and down! Back in the day we just accepted it! However it got to a point where I left, there was no amount of money that made crude comments worth it xx
Janet says
I think that’s what a lot of women do, leave a job because they just get so sick of it.
Alicia says
I did have a boss once who more or less said “how bout it”? I said to him straight away that he was making me feel uncomfortable and he backed off all apologetic. I ended up crackin the shits with him not long after because of the way he was talking to his wife, stormed off and never went back!
Janet says
His poor wife hey? I wonder if she knew she was married to such a creep.
EssentiallyJess says
Never had issues with management, but I’ve had a couple of sleazy customers. Nothing I couldn’t handle, but still didn’t make me feel great
Janet says
Ooo yuk I hate slimeball customers … known a few of them in my time too …
Psych Babbler says
Interesting post. I work in a female-dominant profession so I haven’t really experienced sexual harassment at the work place. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I’m sure if there were more men, it probably would exist in our field too…
Janet says
Having worked in both male AND female offices, I can say that there are down sides to both. Sadly women can be INCREDIBLY bitchy …