This post entitled “I Wish We’d Had More Kids” originally appeared on my previous blog back in early 2012.
I was reminded of it recently when Emily at Have A Laugh On Me posted 3 Signs You’ve Got Enough Kids …
Thankfully, the feeling didn’t last long – which is just as well because that year I ended up having a hysterectomy.
Anyways – read on to find out “Why I USED to Wish We’d Had More Kids!”
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I NEVER thought that I would say this, but lately I’ve been thinking that I wish we’d had more children.
Perhaps this is one of the side effects of being raised by a mum with severe mental health issues. I watched her have four children (I’m the eldest) and gradually lose the plot. Whereas she was relatively “normal” in my early years, by the time my youngest brother arrived she was a totally different woman, and my youngest siblings suffered for it.
I determined that when I had children, I would make sure to have only as many as I could handle.
Without a supportive mum / family network by my side – estranged from my Mum, my husband’s family living far away – my husband and I realised that we were pretty much on our own. As I came to terms with my own diagnosis of depression, I realised that two little ones would probably be about our limit in a practical “hands-on” sense (not even touching on the financial aspect).
Now however, our two children have turned into such wonderful young people I really wish that we’d taken the plunge and had more!
Perhaps it would have been “do-able” if we’d left a bit of a gap between any future children, to make things a bit easier when they are tiny and oh-so-dependent.
My two little ones are now Mr-18-next-month and Miss 15 (NB – now 20 & 17 1/2!), and naturally enough developing their own lives. Good ol’ Mum and Dad are being left behind, which makes us a bit on the sad side!
What I think we miss most is the company of our children – nowadays, even when our teens are home you’d hardly know it, because they’re usually closeted in their rooms. It feels like the only time they emerge is to eat or shower!
I miss their cuddles (although it must be said, despite their age, both are still up for lots of hugs from their folks – in private anyway!). I miss being the one they turn to when something is happening in their lives. Their Dad does too.
There is just so much love in our home, it seems kind of a shame that we didn’t share this with more children.
And let’s face it, we have beautiful children – surely the world would be a better place if we’d had a few more?! (I mean, how CUTE are they?!)
Maybe if we’d had more kids we would be so busy we wouldn’t notice this gradual untying of the apron strings so much!
Does anybody else wish they’d had more kids? Or am I just weird?!
Sophisticated Mumma says
I think it’s perfectly natural to wish you had more (or less) of a family. It sounds as if you have done a great job with your children if you felt you could bring another well-adjusted little person into the world. With the kids getting closer to flying the nest, you are facing an exciting time of life for you. Time for yourself and your own interests. Then you’ll have it all over again with the potential Grandkids…how exciting!
Janet Camilleri says
Believe me I’ve had my moments where I’m glad we didn’t have anymore!!! The teen years have held some surprises and not always pleasant ones!
Bec @ The Plumbette says
It’s funny I always said two children would be my max and then I went through my list of dreams and had written down that I wanted three!! When I talked about having two it was when I was pregnant with Magdalene and I was over being sick and out of control of my body. I can’t wait to meet our little one on Friday. I think it’s natural to want more children but we make the best decisions at the time when we are able to have them I think.
Janet Camilleri says
We had 2 and then hubby had the snip – mind you even that has a failure rate! At the end of the day we know God is sovereign and we knew if He willed it, anything could happen – and we would welcome any extras with open arms. You are at such an exciting stage – about to meet your precious 3rd bubba! Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?
Denise says
It’s funny I always thought I’d have at least 2 kids (I’m from a family of 2), but I only have one and I’m quite happy. I think that’s just because he’s only wee still. I’m afraid that in years to come I’ll wish I had more too! Such is life. At least I’ve been blessed with one child. I’m enjoying him while I can. I know I’ll be upset when he hits the teenage years, but how lovely to know that you’ve raised two independent, happy humans 🙂
Janet Camilleri says
It’s weird how life turns out. My sister that was the most motherly just has 1; the other sister was not at all maternal and now has 4!
Renee Wilson says
Not weird at all. I change my mind all the time, but deep down I know two is enough for me. Two is definitely all I can handle at the moment 🙂
Janet Camilleri says
I hear ya Renee!!!!
Lisa @ Mummy's Undeserved Blessings says
I thought I wanted more, but found that I was done at three. They are still very small so I can’t see myself wanting more but I can imagine that once they all start to grow up I may miss having little people around.
Janet Camilleri says
Yes it’s funny, when the kids were tiny I knew when I was “done”. That’s why it felt weird to get these feelings so much later!
Janet Camilleri says
Maybe this yearning is to prepare me for grandkiddies (but not yet though!)
Tegan says
I sometimes find myself thinking what it would be like to have another child and honestly the though scares the living daylights out of me! So I think I have definitely reached my quota for having children lol!
Chantel says
I always wanted four kids, but with circumstance and my age creeping up on us, I think this one might be our last – two. I’ll have to see after this one how we feel, but I always lived the idea of a huge extended family. Who knows what the future holds!!??!! 🙂
Aroha @ Colours of Sunset says
I am always going to wish we’d had more, but the choice wasn’t ours apparently. Someone else decided that 1 was it for us, and I am going to be devastated when he’s too old for kisses and cuddles and only comes out of his room to shower 🙁 He’s only 6 and I’m already sad about it all! But even if you’d had more, you’d perhaps still feel like this when the youngest grew up and flew. xox
Janet Camilleri says
You’re right Aroha, I should just be thankful for what I already have xxx
Sarah from Creating Contentment says
I got five and I wish we’ll have more. Husband says that window is shut, but for me it’s still on the table.
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
I actually hear this a lot from some older women I’m friends with, they have teenagers and say the same thing… there are times and I mean RARE times when I think I could go again, but finances, the snip and just two reason why it won’t happen. Thanks for mention lovely x
Janet Camilleri says
No, thank YOU for the inspiration!
EssentiallyJess says
I well and truly satisfied with our four. I don’t think I’ll ever regret not having any more. 4 is a good number. 🙂
Janet Camilleri says
As one of 4 myself, I have to agree 😉
Kathy Marris says
Mmm I think I would have liked one more, so that my two had a third party to fight with rather than just the two of them!