I’ve had my run-ins with the green-eyed monster over the years, but after 25 years of marriage I thought I’d slain that dragon once and for all.
Turns out I was wrong.
In the early days of our marriage, I really struggled with jealousy, particularly when our kids were little. The hubster worked in an office full of women, which made me feel like I was sending him into a tank of man-hungry piranhas every morning. I could see them in my mind’s eye – dressed attractively and perfectly made up, with their sleek hairstyles, high heels, and perfume.
And why wouldn’t I be worried? My hubster is one handsome, charming guy – surely other women noticed?!
It didn’t help my self-esteem, that I wasn’t exactly a vision of loveliness as I kissed the hubster goodbye as he left for work each morning. I was usually still in my jammies with hair resembling a bird’s nest, and clutching a baby with a nappy in desperate need of changing, reeking of eau-de-poo.
Then I actually met the women the hubster worked with, and my fears were relieved somewhat 😉 .
I’m happy to report that these days, I’m much more secure in our love and rarely give that ol’ green-eyed monster a thought – so was surprised to be threatened by it again, recently.
Except this time it’s not the hubster that is the focus of my jealousy.
It’s our daughter, the delightful Miss 19.
You see, she gets on so well with her boyfriend’s parents that I can practically feel my eyes changing colour from blue to green.
On the one hand, I’m thrilled that they appreciate our wonderful daughter (and so they should!). Perhaps they are laying the foundation for a wonderful in-law relationship down the track.
And I’m not totally unreasonable. I can understand how much the boyfriend’s mother is enjoying having a substitute daughter in her life, as she has two sons.
Except – this is MY daughter we’re talking about. And I don’t feel like sharing! Humph.
Funnily enough, a character in the novel* I’m reading at the moment expressed it really well:
“It’s tough being a parent. You’re a rock star when your kids are tiny,
everything to them, but before you know it …
you’re left trying to lure them into spending time with you,
laying a trail of breadcrumbs to bring them to your gingerbread house.”
Like most young adults, Miss 19 is rarely home these days, spending most of her time with her boyfriend. But what makes me jealous is hearing that Miss 19 has watched a movie with her boyfriend’s family, or gone shopping with his mum, or shared meals or anything else with them.
I feel a physical pain inside when I see the photos the “other mother” puts on Facebook, especially the selfies with my daughter; and when she posts statuses about “all” her family, tagging MY daughter among them!
Do you have any hints or tips for me on handling my feelings about being a jealous parent?!
*Breakfast in Bed by Eleanor Moran.
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