I’ve had a couple of people express surprise because I posted on a very controversial topic recently.
It’s true, I normally avoid anything political here on Middle Aged Mama.
But I thought it would be reasonably inoffensive to discuss the fact that I didn’t have a particular viewpoint on gay marriage, and was feeling just plain confused.
I wrote the post for me, to help clarify my thoughts.
However I published it, because I was/am certain there must be others like me, sitting on the fence, unsure of which way to jump (and probably too scared to say so, and with good reason, as my experience has demonstrated).
My Readers Rock!
On the whole, I was mostly pleased and proud of how my readers and the Middle Aged Mama community responded, both here and on Facebook. There were some good points raised, and some interesting discussion.
The first few comments in particular were exactly what I’d hoped for. There were indeed others like me, not sure what they thought.
Others commented that they hadn’t realised that the issue wasn’t clear cut for some.
But then came the not-so-respectful comments and heated debate.
Interestingly, the ugly comments came from people that AREN’T a regular part of the community here at Middle Aged Mama. They aren’t my usual readers, and they never comment, like, share or chat on my social media channels … well, until now.
At least read the post FIRST!
What annoyed me was that a couple of these strident voices were so quick to jump on the bandwagon, it was clear that they hadn’t even taken the time to read my post.
I was told that my post was uneducated.
Hurtful.
That I made them want to throw up.
That they couldn’t believe that anybody could not have an opinion.
That it was obvious which way I was leaning (and then named the opposite! Told ya they didn’t read the post!).
Hey, I’m the first to admit I’m uneducated about the issue. That’s why I raised the subject. I wanted to learn and find out more – and I did.
I certainly never set out to intentionally hurt anybody, and I do apologise if I did.
To be honest, I was a bit shocked to be attacked for NOT having an opinion! I was genuinely questioning and I was slammed for that. Isn’t it a good thing that I was open to discussion and learning more?
I tried to respond to all comments, no matter what their persuasion, in a courteous and rational manner. One particularly nasty commenter responded well to that and we went on to have (what I thought) was a courteous discussion, ending reasonably amicably.
So I was surprised when this person saw fit to delete the whole thread of our conversation! Did they realised how bad it made them look perhaps? (I so wish I’d taken a screenshot of it, what can I say, I’m naive when it comes to this sort of thing!)
The Golden Rule of Blogging?!
Have you ever heard the saying, treat others the way that you would like to be treated?
One of the worst offenders was another blogger. Ironically, on her own blog, she asks people to “play nice” – but then she had no hesitation in dropping a huge stinking pile of manure in MY backyard (which she later deleted).
It takes a thick skin to write AND publish a controversial post, even if you think you are doing it in a calm and reasonable, even inoffensive way.
Those nasty comments will make your heart beat faster, and want to defend yourself vigorously. I had to remind myself to take a deep breath, and carefully consider how I responded. I’m a grown up after all!
And if I wanted others to be respectful, I had to set the example!
To be honest, I quickly grew bored with the discussion on Facebook … but it had taken on a bit of a life of its own.
I debated deleting it all together; but hoped it would die down of its own accord soon enough, which it has.
So will I be discussing controversial topics again on my blog or social media?
Look, I can’t see it becoming part of the regular scheduled programming here at Middle Aged Mama.
But – if I want to speak out on something, or ask questions, or encourage people to THINK for themselves, then I will. I will just have to make sure I am ready when the arrows start to fly!
Have you ever experienced online bullying or trolling?!
Linking up with Kylie Purtell for IBOT.