Are You A Real Grown Up?

NB This is a sponsored post.

Earlier this year, I had to smile when I overheard the following conversation between Miss 18 and Mr 21:

“We must be real grown ups now, because we shopped at Ikea!”

I guess it does seem a pretty big deal when you are shopping for your first furniture and homewares, and proof that you are indeed, a grown up 😉 .

But do you know what I think of as the ultimate proof that you are a real grown up?

It’s not getting married, moving out of home, completing a degree, finding a job, or even having a child of your own.

Look After Your Loved Ones

I think you prove that you are a real grown up, when your wills and other end-of-life affairs are sorted, for the benefit of those you leave behind.

Maybe we are a bit macabre in our family, but we often joke about “who-gets-what” if one of us should die. For example, Mr 21 will say “Mum, if you die, then I want Sophie (the stuffed toy that lives on my bed).”

To which I reply, “No way, if I die, she is getting buried with me!” … at which point both kids will howl me down with protests (I should mention we’re kind of mad in our family too 😉 ).

In all honesty though, organising your will is no laughing matter and is indeed, one of those “real grown up” things that we should all do to prevent confusion, arguments and heartache should the unthinkable happen.

The hubster and I took the “real grown up” step of having our wills prepared just after our first child was born. Even though we didn’t have much to bequeath anybody at that stage, we wanted to make sure that our son – and any future children – were provided for, and would be raised in accordance with our wishes.

Time For a New Will?

Just over twenty years later, it’s high time we made a new will. A lot of things have changed since then – our children are now of age and will no longer require a guardian – and in fact, the couple we nominated for the job all those years ago, is no longer together.

Like anything, a job worth doing is worth doing well. That way, you can be sure your final wishes will not just be respected, but will hold up in a court of law.

5 Tips for Writing Your Will

1. Comprehensive – Your will needs to factor in all of your assets, and how you want them to be apportioned. Make sure you include by name, your dependents, your partner, or anybody else that is to benefit. If there is an estrangement (as was the case in my family) and you deliberately decide not to include somebody, note this with wording such as “I do not leave anything to X”, to indicate that your omission was a deliberate act.
2. Clarity – Which leads to the next point, clarity. Setting out your final wishes clearly, reduces the chances that your will might become the subject of a legal challenge.
3. Changes – Things change over time. Appointed guardians can divorce; beneficiaries might pre-decease you. Try to cover these common scenarios in your will.
4. Counsel – While seeking expert legal counsel and advice isn’t a requirement of drafting your will, it is highly recommended. A legal expert can guide you through the process of what to include, and how to distribute it, with the appropriate clauses and wording. A will that is not properly prepared can be much easier for firms like The Will Dispute Lawyers to challenge, so it’s important you do everything correctly if you want to make sure your wishes are respected in full.
5. Current – To make any will valid, it needs to be signed, dated, and witnessed by at least two people over the age of 18 who are not beneficiaries. Also, ensure a trusted family member or members are aware of the whereabouts of your will. You might also want to discuss the contents with those named, prior to your death. While you can amend your will by adding extra items through a codicil, it is important to keep your will up to date and redraft it when necessary to avoid any ambiguity. Circumstances change, and your will needs to reflect these alterations and acquisitions. In some regions for example, divorce can render a will invalid.

Writing your will is not a quick or simple process, nor is it a task that most of us enjoy – yet it is the right thing to do as a responsible adult. In my mind, the proof that you are indeed, a “real” grown up, is looking after your loved ones even when you are no longer there.

Oh, and as for Sophie … I’ve decided to leave her to our kitty, Miss Fleur!

Have you got a will – and if so, does it need updating (like mine does)?!

PS Only a couple of days left to support my Frocktober fundraising efforts – head over to https://frocktober2015.everydayhero.com/au/middle-aged-mama now to donate – and thank you!