Do you have any enemies?
I hope I don’t! There are a couple of people in this world that I feel some anger towards, but that is very different to having an enemy. Chances are the people I am angry with, aren’t even aware of my feelings! And I certainly don’t wish them harm.
However I did write a letter some years back to “vent my spleen” at one of them, which I’m sharing here today …
The Letter I Have Never Sent
“Dear X,
As you can probably imagine we were all deeply shocked and saddened to learn of the death of our mother.
We are also struggling with the fact that it was in accordance with her wishes, that we were not informed of her illness, death, and funeral at the time.
However, I Must Confess: we are all rather at a loss to know why you would not attempt to contact us in the four and half years since. Fair enough at the time but perhaps three months or even twelve months down the track? Surely you had a moral obligation to let us know! Were you that worried about my mother’s wrath even after her death?
It seems particularly upsetting when (another family member) made contact with us through Facebook recently, and would have realised that we obviously had NO CLUE that our own mother had passed away!
You mentioned on the phone that Mum was extremely difficult to live with. If you thought you had it bad, what do you think it was like for us?! Did you know that she was extremely mentally, verbally and physically abusive and cruel? Why did you think Mum was estranged from all four of her adult children?! YOU had the choice of how to handle your relationship with Mum. As her children, particularly when we were minors, we had NO CHOICE. We were alone and nobody was there to help us.
Did you never realise there was something very wrong with Mum? Psychologists now believe that she was in fact a sociopath.
From what I’ve read, there’s a good chance that mum was sexually abused in her own childhood, leading to her problems later in life. But it is a secret she has taken to her grave – unless you know something that might shed some light on it for us?
My siblings and I harboured no ill feelings to you or our other family members, although we have had no contact over the years. We *had* to distance ourselves from our mother to protect our own sanity, and the rest of the family was just collateral damage.
We do understood that Mum’s final wishes put you and the family in a very difficult position. But why would you abide by them, when you didn’t actually get along that well in life anyway? Do you ever regret your choice to stay silent and not reach out to us?
You can probably feel the hurt and anger dripping off the page (or screen!).
I have never sent this letter and probably never will. Sometimes it is best to just let sleeping dogs lie.
I’m curious – what would you have done if you had been instructed NOT to tell the children of their mother’s death?
Linking up with My Home Truths.