This Easter break, I have found myself with more questions than answers – I guess you could say I’m in the midst of a crisis of faith.
I’m not sure if this is something that a lot of middle aged people go through – is it a midlife crisis of sorts? It seems to be something most people encounter at a much younger age (according to Fowler’s stages of faith), and I am just a late bloomer.
For some time now I’ve been wrestling with some big issues. Like:
- Why do bad things happen to good people?
- Why do the wicked prosper?
- What would it look like if we lived our faith based purely on Christ’s teachings, and without the church telling us what to do? (Probably very different!)
- Would a loving God really turn his back on anyone who is genuine in wanting to know or please Him?
- Who are we (as Christians), to tell people what to do and how to live their lives?
- Why does the church follow some bits of the Old Testament (when it suits them) – and not others?
- Does prayer work? Because it really feels like we are on our own!
- Why, when we’ve prayed and earnestly sought God’s direction about something, and then followed it – does it all go pear-shaped?
- And – can I be bothered any more? Isn’t believing enough? (According to a lot of the Bible verses I’ve read, it should be – see Ephesians 2: 8 & 9).
A lot of these might sound like generalisations, but it is the specifics (which I won’t go into here) which have really caused us pain, suffering and doubt.
Perhaps we are just burned out, after so many years of “doing our best”, serving faithfully, and being very involved in church life.
I like to think that God understands what we are going through: our human-ness, our confusion, our flaws and imperfections, our weariness.
And if he doesn’t?
Then I’m not sure I want to know a God like that.
Have you ever had a crisis of faith?