Up until now, I haven’t participated in the gay marriage debate currently raging in Australia.
This is for one good reason – I honestly don’t know what I think.
How can I talk about it – let alone vote on the matter – when I’m not even sure what my own opinion is?!
I’m hearing so much about it, both for and against, everywhere I turn – to the point where I am beginning to wonder: Am I the only one facing this dilemma?
I Don’t Know What It’s Like to Be Gay
Although there are many thoughts running through my head about the whole issue of marriage equality, I’m honest enough to admit that I *don’t* have the answer or know what’s for the best.
And that I know very little about what it’s like to be gay.
Sure, I’ve met gay people and they seem pretty normal to me (although it has to be said, my gaydar is pretty hopeless. It took me over a year to realise that two of my male colleagues were gay, in one of my workplaces!).
But I’ve never had a gay person in my immediate family or circle of friends (although there are a couple in my extended family), so I don’t really know much about it. I suspect folk are just born gay, rather than making a conscious decision or choice.
My Thoughts on Gay Marriage
Here are just some of my thoughts … as a heterosexual female, married for over 27 years, and with a mostly Christian background:
- Why is gay marriage such a big deal anyways? Marriage certainly doesn’t seem to have the same meaning these days, with 1 in 3 couples divorcing.
- But at the same time – I love being married, so I can understand why gay people might want that experience.
- Society’s views have changed so much just in my lifetime – not all that long ago it was illegal to be gay. What next?
- Who am I to tell others how to live their lives?
- And – what right does the Church have to tell people how to live their lives, when the Church is not part of their lives (or even if it is?!)?
- Why do we frown so much on gay marriage when it is about love?
- Who says that being gay is a. sinful; and b. a greater sin than being a liar, a gossip, or a murderer? All of these can get married!
- If gay marriage became a reality – what are the consequences for our society in the long term?
- What is the current situation? Are gay de facto couples recognised by the government? Do they get the same benefits/rights as heterosexual de facto couples? If so, why not let them get married then?
- Just off the top of my head, I know of three other middle aged mamas (two from Christian backgrounds), with an adult child who has come out and wants to be able to marry their partner if they choose.
- Will the vocal minority win out ie – either the gay population, or the religious right?
- Whenever an issue has been put to the vote in my experience, the NO vote wins (think daylight saving in Queensland, Australia becoming a republic) – probably because we don’t like change.
- What do most people REALLY think?
- When Christians say, “the Bible says … ” – what about all the other things the Bible says which we don’t observe or follow today? When was the last time we stoned an adulterer, or refused to eat shellfish or pork because it was unclean … ?
- God loves all of us, gay, straight, black, white, pink with purple polka dots …
- Would children of gay marriages really be any worse off? Seems to me a lot of heterosexual people shouldn’t be allowed to have kids – and yet they do!
- Isn’t it a positive if an adult is able to maintain a loving, lasting relationship, regardless of their gender?
- Look, I don’t want to see gay couples making out in real life or on television etc. I find it a bit icky. But before you take me to task, please know that I don’t like seeing heterosexual couples getting carried away either. As my kids would say, “Get a room” if that’s what you wanna do!
- And at the end of the day: it’s none of my business what other people do in the privacy of their own homes.
Sigh … you can see why I don’t know where I really stand on this issue.
There will be some people (those in Christians circles) likely to be shocked and dismayed that I am not joining “the cause”.
Yet at the same time I may seem apathetic, or judgemental to others.
I’m trying to figure out what I believe, and what I think, rather than what I’ve been taught to think and believe.
Surely I am not the only one that really doesn’t have a clue? Is it okay to really NOT have an opinion?!