In 2011, I found out that my mum had passed away – four and a half years earlier!
As I was putting the wheelie bins away a couple of days later, I noticed a tie on the road just in front of my house. Although it was a bit muddy and wet, I could clearly see Bugs Bunny grinning at me.
I picked it up, mud and all, and stared at it.
You see, when I was a tiny tot, my Mum used to call me her little bunny rabbit. I had rabbits on my first cutlery set, and a Bunnykins bowl. There were even bunnies on my paint apron as you can see in the photo below.
My favourite TV show was Bugs Bunny, and Mum used to tell a funny story of how I couldn’t pronounce Bugs Bunny and instead called him “Gugs Gunny”. She would patiently sound out “B – b – b – b – b – b – b – b – b – b – Bugs Bunny” to help me learn to say it properly, and I would ever so carefully repeat “B – b – b – b – b – b – b – b – b – b – Gugs Gunny!”
When I saw Bugs Bunny on the ground in front of me, I couldn’t help thinking that somehow my Mum was sending me a message from heaven, that she was well and happy, remembering the good times and letting me know how much she loved her little girl.
This was a very special sign to me. Mum and I (and in fact mum and all of my siblings) were estranged for a number of years before her death. She suffered from bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder which grew worse as she got older.
Despite the fact that we hadn’t spoken for many years, I had worked hard at forgiving her (growing up with her as a parent was not exactly a bed of roses) and had reached a place where although I didn’t want to renew contact, I sincerely hoped and prayed that she had found peace and happiness in her life.
Her severe mental issues robbed me of my mother many years before she actually passed. I liken it to Alzheimer’s, where as the illness takes hold and the memories fade, the person becomes just a shell, no longer themselves. The mother I knew and loved as a child disappeared a long time ago, eaten away from the inside out by the bitterness and mental torment she suffered.
Maybe it was just a coincidence, but to me, that Bugs Bunny tie is very precious – a message from heaven.
I have washed it and now keep it in a drawer with other sentimental keepsakes and I’m grateful for the comfort it has brought me.
“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous” – Albert Einstein
Joining in with Flashback Friday, hosted by Cathy at The Camera Chronicles.