Regular readers of this blog might have picked up on my serious mother issues (though these days I’ve come a long way towards healing) …
After all, I don’t think there’s too many people out there who have claimed their mother was dead – when in fact she was alive and well!
In 2011, I found out my mother had indeed passed away (in 2007!) – so it’s not a lie anymore. But for most of my adult life, when it came to meeting new people or making small talk, I learned it was just easier to say my mother had passed away, than to try to explain the freak show that was my family background. For example, when the kids were little, this was quite common:
“You must be so busy working and with two children! Does your mother help out much?!”
My (honest) response would have gone something like this:
“Um, no. Fact is, she was volatile, violent and abusive and I couldn’t move out of home fast enough when I grew up. Even when I tried to develop a more mature relationship with her after leaving home, it was destined to fail. In hindsight, and after much reading and talking to psychologists, my siblings and I now think she suffered not just from Borderline Personality Disorder, but was a full-on sociopath. We haven’t spoken for years; in fact she’s never seen my children. For my mental health and safety – and theirs – we no longer have contact.”
Yep. Way to stop the conversation right there folks!
I mean who doesn’t talk to their own mother?! Sacrilege! Mostly, people just don’t understand and would look at me as though I had two heads … which is why I got sick of having to go into it all, particularly if it was somebody I didn’t know well or wasn’t likely to see again.
If you too have mother issues, rest assured you’re not alone – it’s more common that you think.
Celebrities with Mother Issues
The further I travel in this voyage called life, sadly, the more I find that mother issues are in fact quite common. Even celebrities are not immune!
Jennifer Aniston reportedly hasn’t spoken to her mother since 1996; Meg Ryan and her mother are said to have been estranged since the late 1980’s; and Tori Spelling famously fell out with her mother after her father Aaaron’s death in 2006.
Legally emancipated from her parents at the tender age of 15, Drew Barrymore is quoted to have said rather diplomatically about her mother: “We can’t really be in each other’s lives at this point.” Oh man, do I understand that!
Although saying my mother had passed away was always easier, I no longer feel like the scum of the earth for having to lie about our relationship …
What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?!
Linking up with My Home Truths.