I must confess: I’m not quite sure what all the fuss is about becoming an empty-nester.
Don’t tell the kids, but much as we love them we’ve been looking forward to this day for a long time!
In case you missed the news, Mr 25 (and his cat Seth) moved into their own bachelor pad last month. (Miss Almost-23 flew the nest shortly after her 18th birthday – and long before I was ready for it 😉 ).
Since he graduated from uni at the end of last year, Mr 25 has been working in the city which has meant he has been gone from 7 til 6.30 on weekdays.
And when he was home, he kept pretty much to his room and connected to his computer, so we haven’t really had to share the TV remote for years.
Adjusting to our Empty Nest
The main adjustment has been in the whole area of grocery shopping and cooking meals. Most of my recipes focus on larger quantities – for example, I’ve been using 1 kilogram of mince to make meals like spaghetti, lasagne, savoury mince, rissoles, porcupines, shepherd’s pie etc for at least a decade now.
While I’ve given some thought to reducing the quantity of ingredients, it’s really not so convenient to use half a tin of tomatoes or whatever.
So I’ve decided that for now I’m going to stick to buying and producing family-sized quantities – although I am a little concerned that this won’t do our weight any favours, the intention is to put half aside straight away for leftovers – for lunch or even dinner the next night, or to freeze. (That is, unless the kids are visiting for dinner!) The bonus is that I won’t have to cook every night!
There are so many advantages to this new stage of life, from more free time to do what we want, to more disposable income.
With just the two of us, as a bonus we can indulge occasionally in delicacies and meat cuts that were more expensive, and therefore not practical when there were more hungry mouths to feed.
Theoretically, we don’t have to buy the foods and snacks the kids like as they no longer live here – but we’ve noticed they do still tend to head straight for the pantry or the fridge when they visit, so I’m sure we will make a point of keeping some of their favourites in stock 😉 .
The dishwasher needs to go on less frequently and I’ve noticed gets a bit stinky between cycles when the door is opened, so I welcome your suggestions on how to combat the smell!
Mr 25 was relatively self-sufficient and has been doing his own washing and ironing for years, so it hasn’t affected me in that way.
The house is a little tidier without Mr 25’s shoes left in the entry (I never did manage to train him to put them away), or mess in the kitchen.
We still see him a fair bit as he comes home every weekend to do his washing, and then comes back the next day to collect it after it’s dry.
I’m interested to see how it will affect things like our electricity (Mr 25 was very fond of the air con), water and gas (ditto long hot showers) usage – but of course it’s a little too early to tell.
With both kids now out of the nest, the husbear and I going to have to make a conscious effort to go and visit them, instead of expecting them to come to us all the time (apologies to my in-laws – NOW I understand!). Both of our kids live approximately a 30 minute drive away from our home.
And it does seem funny that we have just moved into this lovely big house and now it’s just the two of us 😉 . Not that we’re complaining!
It is immensely satisfying to know that we have fulfilled our role as parents, and successfully raised two independent (and wonderful!) adults.
There has been the odd occasion when we’ve felt a bit lost, which is to be expected – after all it hasn’t been just the two of us for a quarter of a century now. It’s a whole new stage in our relationship as a couple and like any change, even when it’s long expected or anticipated, it still takes a little bit of adjustment.
And as for our fur baby? I think it’s fair to say that Miss Fleur is relishing her position as the “only child”. Now that Seth is gone she has the cat patio all to herself and she loves sunning herself out there, and watching the bees, birds and butterflies. She is soaking up all the extra attention, and no doubt rules the roost with her dainty little paw.
Some things never change!
Do you have any tips on adjusting to the empty nest? And who wears the pants in your household?!