I am in mourning, over a humble cup of tea.
The hubster and I have shared many cups of tea over the years.
After work, we have always made a point of having a cuppa together to catch up on the day’s news and events; it was “our” time. Sure, the kids would often interrupt but it was a special moment in our day, a chance to re-connect.
When we are pottering around at home, the question “Cup of tea?” does not just mean a cup of tea. It is a cue to come together and have a chat, or just “be” in each other’s company. It also requires more than a yes/no answer. It’s an invitation (command?!) to stop what you are doing, and participate in the tea making ritual. While one makes the tea, the other perches on a kitchen stool … and we wait for it to brew, before imbibing. It’s relaxing. It’s therapeutic. It’s so much more than a cup of tea!
We’ve shared cups of tea at the dining table, on the couch, in the garden, on holidays, on the beach, on cruise ships, in caravans … anywhere, anytime … a cup of tea meant “home”, no matter where we were.
A few weeks ago the hubster got sick. He had been drinking more tea than usual at the time, including herbal teas; and as a result, he now just can’t face tea. (I completely understand – I got gastro once after drinking a chai latte, and since then I can’t stand even the smell of chai!)
Sure, he will still make me a cuppa after work, or even join me with a glass of cordial or even coffee in hand. But it’s just not the same. I can’t believe how much I miss hearing “Cup of tea?”, even though there were times when it interrupted what I was doing and was not always fully welcomed or appreciated!
For 25 years of marriage, and even a year or two before that, the humble cup of tea has united us. It is part of who we are. And I am devastated by its loss, and praying it is only temporary.
I really hope he overcomes his distaste for tea soon – as you can see, it’s so much more than a cup of tea to me!
What’s your special thing or cue for spending quality time together?!
I hope your husband starts tea drinking again quickly! I feel so anti-social in my dislike of hot drinks such as tea and coffee! I wished I loved these drinks or even liked them, but I simply don’t. Sipping juice or water just doesn’t have the same therapeutic effects or encourage the same relaxation or good quality catching up time.
My hubby and I either go out for coffee together or enjoy a glass of wine together at the end of a long day. It is our time together and it doesn’t matter wherever we are in the world this has always been our tradition most days.
Definitely coffee, although not as often as it used to be since having the girls, and I do miss it. But we always try to spend a bit of time just hanging out together on the lounge once the girls are in bed, just catching up and I love that and miss it on the days when he is working and not here.
#teamIBOT
I am sure he will recover. Amazing how the thing we eat/drink last before getting sick can really become yucky to us. I had a bad bout of gastro after eating tzatziki once. I don’t think it caused it, but I still can’t eat it. I think it was two years ago!! Just the thought grosses me out!!
I am sure that such a loved ritual will become palatable to your hubby again eventually – if not, I’m sure you’ll find new ways to connect xo
This reminds me of about 15 years ago when I had to give up alcohol, due to a dodgy pancreas. Hopefully your hubby will return to loving a cuppa sooner than you know it.
I can really relate to this. I love a cuppa ‘n’ catch-up too. You’re right, there’s something so therapeutic about a warm beverage and good company. Here’s hoping your husband’s aversion to tea is short lived.
Oh, I totally get what you’re missing out on. The ritual you’ve had together sounds so special! Fingers crossed the aversion will suddenly lift!
This is so sweet. Don’t worry, I think he will be back to his tea soon enough. It takes a little while to get over food aversions after being sick.
NO WAY, he has shunned tea after all these years, let’s just hope it’s a phase! If it makes you feel better I NEVER have anyone to drink coffee/tea with as mine doesn’t do hot drinks – I know right??
We share our coffee in the morning but occasionally we have a cup of tea together. I like tea in the afternoon. I also can’t stand coffee made by other people so when I’m out, I drink tea. I agree, it’s almost a ceremonial thing. I’m sure he’ll get over his aversion 🙂
Oh no!!! Surely this has got to be temporary. Have faith. I’m sure he’s missing it too and will get over his aversion soon enough x
We are going the opposite way, Trent would only drink coffee, but now he’s only drinking tea so we get t drink tea together all the time. He found a cockroach in the water part of the coffee machine one day after he drank his coffee so now he can’t stand to use it, even though its been months. We have so many coffee pods in the cupboard that aren’t getting used (such a waste of space and money).
What a lovely story Janet and just so true. My Dad absolutely loves his cuppa and Mum is constantly making him cups of tea. It’s not the same when you drink your tea by yourself (like me). I guess that’s why I love my coffee shops visits with friends. A cup of tea and coffee means coming together, chatting sharing the company of good friends, relaxing and it is so incredibly good for my soul and well-being.
Yep, it’s a cup of tea in our house too. My man brings me one every morning early before he heads out to work and then there’s the afternoon catch up one. He’s currently away working and I have to make my own tea and talk to the cat. Not the same.
Such a great way to connect with each other. I hope that hubby’s dislike of tea is short lived! When Paul is here we often sit outside and watch the cars go by and chat about what has been going on during our day. On the nights that he isn’t here we chat on the phone at 7pm. I really miss it when we don’t get to do it.