Have you ever noticed just how many stupid things you hear on the news?!
Like any live TV show, each news broadcast is fraught with the potential for fluff-ups and furphies.
Here are just some of the silly things I’ve heard over the past few weeks …
Police on Waterskis!
Did you know that police now patrol on waterskis? Sounds like fun, doesn’t it!
According to one reporter, “the police were out on boats and waterskis”, escorting a ship that was transporting nuclear waste to Port Kembla NSW … I’m pretty sure they meant “jetskis”! (Actually, even jetskis sound like fun – what a cool job!)
Another time, a newsreader ended a story by saying: “The offenders were wearing jeans. Anyone with information should contact Crimestoppers on …”
Really?! They were wearing jeans? Gosh, that really rules out the potential suspects. Not!
The Most Common Stupid Things You Hear on the News
The most common clangers usually include redundant words. For example:
“The accident happened at 3am in the morning …”
Actually, 3am is ALWAYS in the morning, so there is no need to include the phrase “in the morning”.
Or how about:
“Experts say snakes are active this summer … “
Umm, wouldn’t that be every summer?!
I get it; with the pressure of live crosses on TV, reporters say things that they would like to edit out if they had a chance. Still, it makes for a bit of fun in the midst of the constant stories of gloom and doom!
What are some of the silly things you’ve heard on the news?!
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
Police on water skis! LOL
Janet Camilleri says
I know right! The newsreader didn’t even stutter over it so obviously didn’t realise what they were saying …
Amy @ Handbagmafia says
Vague descriptions always bug me. Jeans, ffs! π I heard one the other day mention that there had been a number of shark sightings in the water at such-and-such beach. Well, colour me surprised- in the water??
Janet Camilleri says
It’d be more newsworthy if they were on the sand, working on their tans π
Renee Wilson says
Very funny, Janet. We were just laughing the other night while watching the news. It always seems so awkward just before they cut to a break when the weather girl walks over to the news desk and pretends to make light conversation. It’s always so staged.
Janet Camilleri says
We’ve noticed that too, and sometimes it’s a weather boy rather than a girl – but it’s still the same “staged” conversation. I bet they’re saying what we were taught in choir to sing if we didn’t know the words: Watermelon watermelon watermelon shoe!
Tracy says
Yeah, that “3am in the morning” one always gets me. I wonder when else 3am might happen? In the afternoon, maybe?
Janet Camilleri says
Glad I’m not the only one that is bugged by it!
Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life says
If the comments were made live, that would be one thing, but isn’t most of the news read off autocues? I wonder if the news readers themselves sometimes cringe also when reading out their lines!
Janet Camilleri says
I know, or maybe it doesn’t hit them til afterwards?!
Natalie @ our parallel connection says
My bad .. I always say 3am in the morning. Oops. Hey don’t judge the snake if it decides to be lazy. Lol
Janet Camilleri says
Everyday conversation is different though Natalie, we all get “lazy” and repeat things or say things that are redundant … but reporting should be more “formal” I think …
Haidee@Maybe Baby Brothers says
Haha! Yes, I have probably heard some doozies but I can’t think of any right now! Will have to try and remember some.
Janet Camilleri says
It’s amazing how many there are when you start keeping an ear out for them! And makes watching the news a tad more interesting π
Min@WriteoftheMiddle says
I hate it when a reporter is interviewing someone who has just suffered a tragedy (like the loss of a child!!) and they ask “and how are you feeling” or “and how has this affected you” … or something similar. Ugh! How do you think they are feeling!!
Janet Camilleri says
Me too Min, sometimes they are just so insensitive. I couldn’t do that for a job, no way.
Toni @ Finding Myself Young says
I’d like to see the police escorting a boat carrying nuclear waste on water ski’s lol
Janet Camilleri says
As long as it’s in pyramid formation like they used to do at Sea World!
Kathy says
Ha ha, love the water-skiing police and the suspects in jeans. When I used to present the news (a very long time ago) I had an embarrassing stuff-up when I didn’t quite get the ‘t’ out in ‘concert pianist’. There were plenty of other stuff-ups too.
Janet Camilleri says
And I’ll bet you were never allowed to forget it! Hubster used to work in a Customer Service Centre, and often used to say: “Can you pee in your kin number thanks” … LOL
EssentiallyJess says
Jetskis makes so much more sense! Water skis are a bit vague. π
It’s funny how we get used to these things though. I never notice the snake thing or as Amy said earlier, the shark one. I’m just grateful for that information so I don’t get attacked!
Janet Camilleri says
It must be my editing side coming out Jess π
Vanessa says
All I can think of right now is ATM Machine π
Janet Camilleri says
Yes! Another classic!
Denise says
Police on waterskis! It’s enough to make me start watching the news again. I had long since given up. Very funny Janet π
Janet Camilleri says
Don’t blame you Denise!
Lisa says
Hilarious Janet. I always laugh when the footy is on and they interview the footballers & commentators. My favourite question is: why didn’t you win the game? Answer: They played better on the day. Umm. Captain Obvious and so profound. hehe.
Janet Camilleri says
Oh I know – aren’t they the worst?!
Johanna Castro says
Haha! These made me giggle. You are very observant. I’m going to be a bit more on the ball when I watch the news from now on!
Janet Camilleri says
It makes watching the news a bit more entertaining esp if you have glass of wine in hand! π
Victoria says
This made me think of the “headlines” segment Jay Leno used to do on the tonight show.
I can even remember one “- No cause of death determined for beheading victim ”
Oh I just thought of another one – “study shows low wages cause poverty” ?
Janet Camilleri says
Baha I think both the journalist and editing staff were asleep at their posts with those!
Jodi Gibson says
I try to stay away from the news as it’s either depressing or like you say stupid!
Janet Camilleri says
I’ve heard of a lot of people that do that. For me though, esp working from home, it helps me feel like I’m still in contact with the outside world!
Pinky Poinker says
I’m loving the look of your blog, Janet. You know the thing that annoys me the most is when they say, “Have a listen…” Listen is a verb, not a noun and you can’t have a listen!
Janet Camilleri says
Never noticed that one Pinky! I’ll have a listen next time I watch the news!!!! π
Emily says
AM in the morning drives me bonkers! One of my besties does it and I have to bite my tongue.
Janet Camilleri says
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one slowly being driven around the twist π