This weekend we reached a major milestone in the Middle Aged Mama family – our youngest child turned 20.
Do you know what that means? We survived the teenage years!
We’ve been pretty lucky – our kids are basically “good” kids, and I think we got off fairly lightly, all things considered.
Even so, there were many storms along the way, which proved that the teenage years are the hardest. We’ve had to deal with things like:
- Wagging school;
- Shoplifting;
- Sneaking out to parties;
- Wearing too much makeup;
- Tattoos and piercings;
- Cyber bullying;
- Boyfriends and girlfriends;
- Spending too much time online;
- Drinking too much.
There were times when we worried, when we cried, when we didn’t know which way to turn, when our teenagers hated us. And yet … we made it. Not only did we, as parents, survive the teen years – but so did our kids!
And they have both turned out better than we ever expected.
Mr 22 has just completed the first year of a Commerce degree, working part-time to support himself. Although it took a while – including six months of unemployment – for him to figure out what he wanted to do career-wise, it is a joy (and a relief) to see him pursuing his dreams. He is extremely savvy in financial matters – for example, not many young people his age own such a nice car outright!
Miss 20 is now working as a legal secretary in the city, after a couple of years in the hospitality industry. She has been with the same boyfriend for most of the last four years and has already taken a massive step into adulthood, leaving the nest not long after she turned 18. Our girl has one of the softest, and most generous hearts, that I have ever known.
Their employers cannot speak highly enough of our kids, and their strong work ethics. We must have done something right along the way!
How did we survive the teenage years?
If I could pass only one tip on to other parents of teens, it is this: try to have a great relationship with your kids (of any age) and keep the lines of communication open.
It won’t prevent the problems that are part and parcel of raising teens, but it does make sure you still have a voice in your child’s life (even if it’s just a whisper).
And if you are looking for some help along the way, I found these two books (by Australian/New Zealand authors) really helpful:
- He’ll Be Okay: Growing Gorgeous Boys into Good Men by Celia Lashlie.
- What Teenage Girls Don’t Tell Their Parents by Michelle Mitchell.
If your family has survived the teenage years – what is your biggest tip for other parents?!
Linking up for Life This Week.