What Does Your Christmas Tree Say About You?

Last year, we never got around to putting up our Christmas tree.

We had just shifted into our new house and to be honest, just couldn’t be bothered.

But this year we couldn’t wait, we even have a couple of ideal spots for a Christmas tree: the front entry hall, or next to the stairs. We ended up choosing the stair option, because it was handy to a power point for the Christmas tree lights.

Our old tree was looking very much the worse for wear after nearly 30 years of loyal service, so it was time to retire it. While we were at it we may also have splashed out on some new decorations, so it looks a bit posh!

Anyways, it got me to thinking – what does your Christmas tree say about you?!

Here’s my handy-dandy guide to assessing the current emotional state and idiosyncrasies of everybody you visit, just by looking at their Christmas tree 😉 .

Traditional Christmas Tree

Are you in a home with a traditional style tree, complete with red and gold decorations? This indicates somebody that is rather boring set in their ways!

Real Christmas Tree

Greenies tend to insist on real Christmas trees, much more sustainable and environmentally friendly. Maybe not so great for the home environment though, as they shed pine needles and bugs … ewwww.

Any Old Stick or Branch Christmas Tree

This is somebody who is either so broke they can’t afford a proper tree (been there, done that!) – or they’ve packed it away so well last year, they can’t find it and so are making do with this poor excuse for a tree.

The Artistic Christmas Tree

Not to be confused with the “Any Old Stick or Branch Christmas Tree”. This is somebody who likes to think they are very nouveau, chic, or special (or all three), and have gone to great lengths to create a tree to convince everybody else. Often it’s butt ugly but hey, that’s what passes for art these days, don’t ya know?!

Messy Christmas Tree

When the decorations are all higgledy piggledy, and no apparent thought has gone into colours or placement, it’s obviously been decorated while drunk. Or they have littlies (kids/grandkids). Or both.

Colour Coordinated Christmas Tree

The owner of this tree has a reputation for being a bit anal. And if the presents underneath match? This is a severe case of OCD, peoples!

Fibre Optic Christmas Tree

Fibre optic Christmas tree? Nerd alert! This is somebody who loves tech stuff and gadgets!

Unusual Colour Christmas Tree

If you visit somebody with a Christmas tree in any colour other than green or white, it screams artificial and is clearly fake (just like the owner perhaps?).

Christmas Tree covered in Handcrafted Decorations

Felt hearts, clay or dough ornaments, wooden toys, mostly handmade – this is a very sensitive and sentimental soul. Either that, or they have waaaaaaay too much time on their hands …

Tabletop Christmas Tree

Tabletop Christmas trees are a wonderful decoration, unless it is the ONLY Christmas tree; in which case, you are in the home of somebody that’s just plain lazy – or even a bit of a Grinch!

Having said all that, am I brave enough to share my Christmas tree with you? Of course I am! Let’s take a look at it together, shall we?!

Analysis must be read in David Attenborough style voice:

Here we have what is clearly a brand new Christmas tree in the modern style. Could this tree belong to a newly established family grouping? The shiny metallic decorations and distinct lack of tinsel do fit in with that classic millennial profile – this is a tree that would photograph beautifully for social media.

But no, there is a tacky cardboard angel on top which has clearly been made by extremely youthful hands, most likely somebody who failed cutting with scissors when they were in prep (isn’t that right Mr 25 😉 ). It’s crushed and worn from many years of use and yet despite the fact it belongs in the rubbish bin, instead it has been given pride of place, if at a somewhat drunken angle.

The evidence is clear: this tree belongs to a middle aged couple living in what is a now empty nest – hence the unexpected sentimentality of the cardboard angel. One can’t help but wonder what sort of tree you would find in the homes of their offspring or if this tree, which dominates the landscape, is a central focus to family members near and far.

Now it’s your turn – what does your Christmas tree say about YOU?!