It’s hard to write a post about what to wear to a funeral, without feeling a bit superficial and disrespectful.
However, when a dear lady from our church passed away recently, I have to admit that this exact question did trouble me.
It’s been a few years, and I couldn’t help wondering: is black is still the only acceptable colour to wear to a funeral?
To be on the safe side, I did wear a mostly black outfit, even though it was a hot day – skirt, heels, and shirt with a subdued pattern in black and pink.
Subdued Fashion: What to Wear to a Funeral
Most people did tend to wear dark colours such as black or navy.
Being a work day, some turned up in their work uniform.
Others wore pastel or bright colours. Yes, really!
In this particular case, bright and joyful colours were appropriate. The funeral was promoted as a “celebration service” of this woman’s life; because of her strong Christian faith, mourners were reminded of her trust in God, and celebrated her arrival in heaven.
I think when it comes down to it, you really need to consider the deceased person’s personality and culture; and what their family would prefer.
If you are attending the funeral of a person of another faith, it is worth checking what is appropriate. At Hindi or Chinese funerals, for example, white is worn by mourners.
Many cultures (Chinese for example) frown on the wearing of red at a funeral. However, I have heard of one widow whose husband loved her in fire-engine red – so that is what she wore to his funeral!
Keep It Classy
Oh, and don’t flash too much flesh either, and keep it a bit dressy – no short shorts, strapless dresses or thongs. But I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that – Redland City Living readers are a classy lot! 😉
If you remember two key words – respectful and appropriate – when choosing what to wear to a funeral, I don’t think you can go too far wrong. Here are some suggestions:
- Katies top $49.95;
- Dark green dress with nude accessories, outfit put together on Polyvore – because you don’t have to stick to black;
- Roll waist, knee length black skirt at Katies, now $29.95;
- Peplum dress from Crossroads, now $29.95.
One last thing – make sure you pack a handkerchief or tissues (especially if you are a sook like me), and sunglasses to hide red eyes.
Please tell me I’m not the only shallow person that stresses about what to wear to a funeral!
Linking up with Flog Your Blog Friday over at With Some Grace.
Sunglasses and tissues are my staple when I go to a funeral too! I like to look respectful and classy at a funeral – but it is hard when its 40 degrees like the last one I went to.
It’s hard to look anything but sweaty and miserable – even if you’re NOT at a funeral – when it gets that hot!
I really give good thought to this too and have in the past worn a conservative suit, however, my Aunt passed away not long ago and it was requested to wear bright colours and so I wore a red belted dress with black heels and black jacket.
It seems to be becoming more of a thing, doesn’t it, the bright colours? I’m still not real sure how I feel about that to be honest …
You’re not shallow, it is definitely hard! I went to a funeral where everyone was asked to wear red. It was amazing how just changing that one thing – the colour everyone was wearing – completely changed the mood of the occasion. (For the most part.)
Wow that would have been different … I don’t really own much in red so I would have found that hard! Blue on the other hand 😉
I think you are just trying to make sure you are respectful, not shallow. I haven’t had to attend one for ages (touch wood) I honestly don’t want to think about it until I have to 🙁 xxx
Thanks Em. Sadly I think I have another one coming up in the not too distant future, my step nan is not doing so well 🙁
Great tips – I agree with all of them. I’m a fan of conservative … not necessarily black, but something respectful, neat and tidy. I haven’t attended a funeral for about 20 years, so I would be very nervous I think! Thanks for sharing. Cheers, Alison
It’s not at all shallow to give thought to the dress code of a funeral. Last funeral I went to was my Grandfather. I was broke and I thought I needed to purchase a new outfit, and the whole thing just seemed too much. I then realised that my Grandfather would not approve of me wasting money on an uncomfortable outfit that I wouldn’t wear, so I chose something simple from wardrobe. A black long sleeve shirt with a colourful wrap skirt.
I love how you stopped before going out to buy something new, and thought about what your grandfather would have liked. I’m sure he was smiling down on you xxx
Pa always told me to save %10 of my wage, so I don’t think it was tasteful to arrive styled to the max. I think the respect you pay to the deceased depends on the person. For some funerals, a suit with stockings would be appropriate regardless of the weather. For others, bordies and thongs could be a fitting tribute to the deceased. At the end of the day, I made my decision based on what I would feel comfortable in, as I knew I was there to morn the loss of life, and not to be stylish.
Oh I love that idea, boardies and thongs, I’ve definitely got to tell my hubster & kids that’s what I want for my funeral!
I always wear black whenever I attend a funeral.