Has anybody else been watching Married at First Sight, wondering which couples will make the move for love?
I’m a complete romantic, and just want everybody on the show to find their happily ever after.
So I was devastated on Monday night when Susan told Sean that even though they’d fallen in love, she wouldn’t be packing up all her worldly goods, and shipping them from Perth to his farm near Maryborough in Queensland. (There may actually have been a tear rolling down my cheek).
Of course they weren’t the only couple that were facing this challenge … Simon and Alene (my favourites, they’re so cute), Sharon and Nick, Nadia and Anthony all had to work out if they would continue with a long distance relationship, or move for love.
I guess because their relationships are still very much in their infancy, it IS a huge call for them to move for love – at this stage anyway.
I Moved for Love!
I know what they are struggling with, because I moved for love many years ago ….
The hubster and I met when we worked in the same office in Brisbane’s CBD.
However, we lived at opposite ends of the city. Anybody that knows Brisbane will know that the Brisbane River is like the Great Divide, separating northside from southside. I was a northside girl; he was a southside boy. It took an hour to drive from one of our homes, to the other.
We didn’t move in together until we got married – the question of where we would live was decided by the fact that the hubster had already bought a house, before we met (which he rented out while he continued to live at home. Good Italian family tradition that one!)
Naturally enough he’d purchased a house in his own area.
So how did I feel about moving for love?
First of all, I knew that we were both committed to the long term, as we were getting married.
So I was mostly excited! I was really looking forward to making a new life with my Bear, on his side of town. It has to be said that I was also keen to be moving away from my mother (even though I’d moved out of home years before) and all her dramas.
The reality however was not quite as easy.
Moving for Love Isn’t Easy
When I lived on the northside, I often had people pop in, which I loved as I (mostly) lived on my own. All of my family and friends were nearby.
I might not have shifted to another city, state or country, but that hour long drive meant that “dropping in” and spontaneous catch-ups, were no longer an option.
I cried nearly every weekend! I was married to a wonderful man, but I missed the ease of my old friendships; in hindsight I think I was also suffering a bit of depression.
After 6 months of marriage I got a job locally, and that really helped me to settle in.
Four years later I gave up my job when our son was born, and once again the rug was pulled out from underneath me. Although I had some local friends, they were all at work during the day. I didn’t know anybody else at home with kids, and I was very lonely.
I did my best, forcing myself to go to playgroup, and eventually we joined a church, but it still took a couple of years before I really felt at home.
In fact, when I was in the depths of postnatal depression, we seriously discussed moving back to my side of town. Eventually however things got better …
Fast forward twenty years and I know that THIS is my home. I would find it very hard to go back to the northside; everything has changed so much since I lived there.
From my own experience I can say that moving for love is not easy, in my case, definitely worth it 🙂 .
Joining up with:
Denyse says
I moved for love but I had already moved out of home anyway. I met and married the teacher/husband and we lived in 3 different parts of rural and isolated parts of NSW. Wherever he was and our daughter too, and our work was ‘home.’ Interesting topic because we have moved away from northwestern Sydney after the area being HOME from 1978 to 2015 and I miss family and parts of the life from there but I never saw it as home either. I do still feel quite out of place/not fitting in here on the Central Coast but that is for a number of reasons. I guess overall, I need to be content within myself for feel like I am at ‘home’. Working on it!! Great post.
Janet Camilleri says
Thanks Denyse. You are right, “home is where your honey is”! I hope you feel more settled on the Central Coast soon x
Donna says
My hubby left his home in NZ to travel, met me and never made it back.
Janet Camilleri says
Nawww that’s true love right there Miss Donna x
Kathy Marris says
I moved from Bendigo in Victoria to the Gold Coast in Queensland looking for love and luckily I found it! It was the best thing I ever did but I must admit I did miss my family and old friends back in Bendigo initially. Most of my family moved to the Gold Coast years later so I was lucky and I soon made new friends. I couldn’t imagine living back in Bendigo now. 🙂 #TeamLovinLife
Janet Camilleri says
And I can’t imagine you anywhere other than the Gold Coast – or on the road in your caravan!
Deborah says
Depressingly Janet I’ve never been IN love. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.
However… I obviously have (and do) love people very much. At the moment for example, now that I’ve made my seachange I won’t move away from near my mother until she’s gone. I sometimes wonder what I’ll do after that and seriously – as I have no other immediate family / no one who’ll miss me (and I don’t mean that in a ‘poor me’ way) I’m thinking I’ll take off. Rent my place out and travel if I can afford it. Italy has been on my bucket list forever and my vague plan is to ‘live’ there somewhere for a few months while I contemplate life.
Janet Camilleri says
I can tell from your posts and social media that you and your mum are close, so it’s good that you live nearby. I miss my sister dearly – she is still an hour’s drive away 🙁 .
Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond says
I have been drawn to this show even though I said I wouldn’t watch it Janet (I’m glad I can share my secret!). Like you I was shocked when Susan decided not to proceed. They were one of my favourite couples along with Simon and Elene. I was also shocked that Nadia proceeded with Anthony – that is what reality TV is about isn’t – shocks! Long distance relationships are very hard to maintain and I think if you genuinely love someone above all else then moving isn’t an issue. The problem is in today’s world of equality, a woman shouldn’t be expected to give up her life and move just because she is the ‘woman’. It isn’t easy that is for sure. Relationships are all about compromise but it is hard not to be resentful if you are the one doing all the compromise. Can’t wait for the Finale!!
Janet Camilleri says
Yup it’s my guilty secret too Sue! And now I’m got my whole family hooked LOL .
Kat says
Oooh this is a good question. I think that as an expat, I’m more inclined towards the idea of moving for love because I tend to move at the drop of a hat. It’s not such a massive ordeal for me. But I can understand not wanting to uproot your entire existence for someone you don’t know that well. #TeamLovinLife
Janet Camilleri says
That’s the catch I think Kat – the people on Married at First Sight just don’t know each other well enough yet despite a very intense 8 week start to their relationships.
Jo says
Love your story Janet, and I can relate to how you feel. I moved for love across continents, from England to South Africa. Then we kept on moving across continents due to my hubby’s job – once I also became quite depressed and wondered why but looking back it was the move. We’ve left friends and family so many times (11 international moves) that now our little nuclear (family) unit is very strong. I hope we manage to stay around each other – at least in WA! I think blogging and the internet has been my saving grace, as I can keep in touch with family and all the friends I’ve made around the world which wasn’t possible back in the day. #teamlovinlife
Janet Camilleri says
I can’t imagine moving internationally! I’m not sure if I’m jealous or not!!!!
Jan Wild says
I haven’t watched the show but yes I did move for love and am so glad I did.
Janet Camilleri says
That’s the key I think Jan, it HAS to be love or you wouldn’t do it.
Lyndall @ Seize The Day Project says
I’ve been watching the show too! I’m not usually a fan of reality TV, but it’s got me in – must be the romantic in me! I think it’s a big call to move for love and I think you have to be really sure of your relationship. The couples on the show are still fairly new and it’s certainly a very big decision to make, but if you feel in your heart that it’s right, there’s really no decision at all. I had already moved to Sydney to live when I met my hubby and then we moved together, but I think I would move for love … if it was really right. #TeamLovinLife
Janet Camilleri says
I know Lyndall, I surprised myself by getting hooked on MAFS last season.
Jo Tracey says
I moved for love straight of Uni when I went to Canberra. We lasted a whole month – possibly 2. But that’s where I met my hubby so I’ll never ever ever regret it.
Janet Camilleri says
Life sometimes takes some interesting twists and turns!
Shauna says
I moved from Bourke to Brisbane for love. My now hubby and I had met in Tamworth where we grew up but didn’t get together until AFTER I’d left town to study in Canberra. Then he moved to Melbourne to study shortly after that and then me to Bourke to take on my first job out of Uni. A year later he was transferred to Brisbane. Then we were engaged and one of us had to move! Much as we are both country bumpkins at heart, Brisbane was a much better prospect career-wise for both of us so I moved to Brissy. We had a long distance courtship for 4 years before were finally together. The first year together was a massive adjustment for both of us in so many ways, there being no friends or family and both in new jobs AND sharing a home and a life! Rocky is the word! But we married a year later and just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary in February. I’m glad I made the move! We’ve since moved back to Tamworth but our early married life in Brisbane brings many fond memories.
I haven’t watched the show but might check it out now you’ve mentioned it!
Janet Camilleri says
A long distance courtship – now THAT would be a challenge! I dated a fellow going to Uni in Lismore and that fizzled out due to the distance. Of course no internet, email or Skype back then!
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
I left a comment but I think it disappeared?
I said I’ve never had to move for love, but my husband may have to. I want to move north in the next 5 years. He’s a little more stayed and wants to stay in Canberra. We’ll see ….
#teamlovinlife
Janet Camilleri says
It might be hiding in my spam Leanne, just checked and there are over 200 comments in there waiting for me to scroll through. Am I the only one being plagued by spam at the moment?!
Leanne says
I moved for love too – I met my husband in a country town in WA – then he moved to another town 3hrs further away. It was a no brainer to follow him and set up home. We made new friends (the benefits of joining a local church) and eventually moved back to the city, then away again to his home town (2hrs out of Perth). I’m the same as you, in that I’d never move back to the city now – I love where we live and the friends and family I’ve grown close to over the last 25 years.
Janet Camilleri says
Yes I don’t know how people find new friends without a great church!
Beth | AlmostPosh.com says
Accidentally got hooked on MAFS and also felt super sad for Sean and Susan! I have a feeling they’ll make things work down the track though, it would be such a big step to move to the farm. Very happy for Simon and Alene as well, they are so cute. I’m glad Nadia finally saw the light and I didn’t like how Sharon and Nick clearly thought they were King and Queen Bee of the show! I actually went to the Central Market here in ADL the other day and just had to have a peek at Jesse in his Dad’s fruit shop, haha.
Janet Camilleri says
Oh I would totally do that if I lived in Adelaide!!!!
Bec Senyard says
Jacob and I met at the same church and bought a house where we could afford. He’s from NSW so he had moved already for work. I’m glad he was already in Brisbane, as I don’t think I would have moved down south.
Janet Camilleri says
It’s a big call, isn’t it?