A friend’s daughter has just announced her engagement, with a wedding to come early next year.
Amidst all the excitement it got me to thinking – do fellas still approach their girlfriend’s parents asking for permission to marry, before they pop the question?
It seems a bit archaic, especially when many couples live together first.
The hubster and I did things the old-fashioned way and didn’t move in together until we got married. And before announcing our engagement, and despite the fact that I’d been living out of home for a few years, the hubster still visited my dad to request my hand in marriage.
Why Ask for Permission to Marry?
Dad and my stepmum thought it was a nice gesture, and very respectful of him. I think that’s why the hubster wanted to do it – after all, these people would soon become his in-laws and he felt it was important to get things with his future family, off on the right foot.
I can’t help wondering though – would we have listened if we hadn’t been given parental blessing? Probably not 😉 !
Back in the day it was probably about the young man proving that he could provide for the young woman in question – whereas these days, I would hope each of them has a job and is financially responsible, and more than capable of providing for themselves!
I can’t help wondering what the future holds … what will our kids do when the time comes? As Mr 22 doesn’t even have a girlfriend at the moment, I doubt the subject has even crossed his mind!
Miss 19 on the other hand, tells me that even though it is a bit old-fashioned, she would insist on it. How weird to be the parents at that time! A whole new frontier in our parenting journey.
So … what do you think? Should young men still approach their beloved’s parents, asking for permission to marry their daughter?
My son-in-law to be turned up unannounced one afternoon to ask me (father of bride to be deceased). I was totally chuffed and cried and said yes! Also gave him some straight talk about my expectations. Lovely young lad … Wedding is in April 2017. They bought a house together last year and leave for a months holiday in Europe next week. Sigh … I remember those days xx
Nawww that’s lovely Libby x
I don’t think either of my husbands asked my father for my hand in marriage. I sound like Elizabeth Taylor, don’t I! I think Scotto offered to ask Dad and I told him not to be silly. My Dad is quite old fashioned and probably would have appreciated it when I think about it.
Pffft you’ve got nothing on my mum – she was married 4 times! That was sweet of Scotto. I’m sure him asking wouldn’t have done any harm even if it seemed silly.
My husband phoned my dad to ask, we were living interstate. He had to ask three times because apparently my father couldn’t hear him. Then the phone went dead, dad accidentally hung up on him. On the fourth try the champagne cork could be heard popping in the background. It was 9am in the morning. What a fiasco but he got there in the end.
Love your husband’s perseverance! He must really love you!
I think it depends on the family really! My family is very traditional and my dad expected to be asked before we got married….but hubby didn’t think that was needed “in this day and age” so my dad never got asked! Will be interesting to see what my boys do, if they decide to get married one day 🙂
My now ex hubby waited for an ad break in some shit 70’s tv show to ask my lovely dad for permission. There was 3 minutes of chat and then the show came back on. There was silence til the next lot of ads… all very silly really.
My girl is 33 so I def don’t expect to get a a knock on the door anytime soon from a would be suitor… all a bit quaint and unnecessary I reckon.
It is, but if it helps to get into the good books of the future in-laws that’s probably a good thing.