I have long lamented the lack of blogs by mothers of TEENS. It would be great to hear from others, to learn from their experiences, hear good advice, and other parenting tips. (Thank goodness for The Kids Are All Right, which does a great job of stepping into this gap).
But as a mother of two teens myself, I completely understand why other Mums aren’t blogging about the trials and tribulations of their teenagers.
Believe me, I have enough fodder to blog for years: Parties. Computers. Makeup. Household chores. Piercings. Gaming. Fashion. Curfews. Peer Groups. Smoking. Shoplifting. Sleepovers. Bullying. Dating. Anorexia. Cyberstalking. Truancy. Anorexia. Same sex relationships. Homelessness. Self Harm. Part-time jobs. Sexting. Rights and responsibilities. Porn. School. Leaving school. Binge Drinking. Queen Bees and Wannabes. Lying. Being Expelled. Tattoos. Drink Driving. Choosing a career.
You name it, we have encountered it – either directly through the lives of our own teens, or through their friends and peers. It’s a wonder my hair isn’t fully grey!
If I could pass only one tip on to other parents of teens, it is this: make sure you have a great relationship with your kids (of any age) and keep the lines of communication open.
It won’t prevent the problems that are part and parcel of raising teens, but it does make sure you still have a voice in your child’s life (even if it’s just a whisper).
And that’s why I don’t blog about my teens: because it is a sacred trust. The things they open up about, or that are going on in their lives – they don’t want available for the whole world to read. And my relationship with my kids is far more important to me than even the writing and blogging I so dearly love.
I’ve already made some moves to protect my kids on this blog – referring to them by age rather than name eg Mr 19 and Miss 16.
Personality-wise, my kids are like chalk and cheese.
Mr 19 is a bit of an introvert – a recluse who would be quite happy to be left in his cave (room) with his computer and other tech gadgets, only coming out occasionally in pursuit of food.
Miss 16 on the other hand has always had a very adventurous spirit and goes stir-crazy without people around.
Despite their differences, they stopped fighting a couple of years back and actually seem to have become friends, which I am very thankful for.
Finally, if you too are navigating the teen years, here are two books that have been a help to me.
- “He’ll be Okay: growing gorgeous boys into good men” by Celia Lashlie.
- “What Teenage Girls Don’t Tell Their Parents” by Michelle Mitchell
Both these books are an eye-opener. Both offer a rare insight into the teenage psyche. Both will scare the pants off you at times, but reassure you at others. And both will remind you that THIS TOO SHALL PASS!
Do you have teens? What is the best piece of advice you could give to another parent about to head into the turbulent teen years?