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Ghosts of Christmas Past

Janet Camilleri · 12/12/2014 ·

You know all the magic hype of Christmas? I’m not really into it.

I feel like a traitor saying this. After all, we’re celebrating the birth of Christ!

Perhaps my ambivalence is due to the ghosts of Christmas past … what Christmas was like for me as a youngster.

Ghosts of Christmas Past - Christmas 1993 was actually a happy Christmas!
I don’t have any photos of my childhood Christmases. This one will have to do instead – at least it’s of a “Christmas past” – a very happy one! It was taken when I was pregnant with Mr 20.

As the eldest of four kids, being raised by a single mum, money was always tight.

While my friends were receiving bikes, stereos, roller skates, and other big ticket items, we usually got $20 each for Christmas Day – mainly because my mother hated Christmas shopping and avoided it at all costs (these days I can see where she was coming from!).

In a way, receiving cash was a good idea – we then spent it on what we really wanted at the post-Christmas sales.

But the main reason was due to my mother’s mental health issues. The stresses of Christmas – financial worries, unrealistic expectations (a roast dinner in the middle of a summer heatwave!) and pressure from all corners to be joyful, seemed to bring out the very worst in her.

My childhood memories of Christmas are anything but festive – in fact, they are downright traumatic 🙁 .

Thankfully that is all in the past!

Today I am blessed to have a husband who spoils me rotten each Christmas (regardless of the amount of money actually spent, it’s the thought that counts and he always puts lots of thought into it!), and two awesome kids, Mr 20 and Miss 18 … and yes, I probably do compensate somewhat for my own lack of pressies, and end up going a bit overboard with gifts for them … though I’m trying to rein it in a bit now they’re all grown up!

But despite my own happy family, I really don’t enjoy Christmas. So much pressure, hype and build up leading up to just one day.

So I’m kind of relieved that this year, I’m escaping the Christmas madness. Tomorrow, I’m boarding a cruise ship with my sister and our two best friends since youth group days, bound for Noumea and Vanuatu – and by the time I get back, Christmas will be just days away and almost over for another year!

Do you battle with any ghosts of Christmas past? How do you dispel them?!

 

Filed Under: Christmas, Memories

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mrs Organised says

    12/12/2014 at 8:39 am

    We’ve avoided a lot of the hype and stress this year because we’ve been away on a cruise also for the last two weeks … you’re going to love it! I’m also keeping it simple this year. We’re giving the kids tickets to the Lion King instead of presents … the gift of a memory … love that!

    • Janet Camilleri says

      12/12/2014 at 11:44 am

      Great idea for Lion King tickets! Where did you go on your cruise – was it NZ by any chance? Loved it when we did it in 2012!

  2. Raych aka Mystery Case says

    12/12/2014 at 10:13 am

    I’m enjoying Christmas more since we moved away from extended dysfunctional family. I much prefer to do our own private thing but I still manage to hold on to past expectations of how much unnecessary effort and fuss I need to go to for the day to be perfect.

    • Janet Camilleri says

      12/12/2014 at 11:45 am

      That sounds like a very good idea … moving away from problem families …

  3. Kathy Marris says

    12/12/2014 at 4:09 pm

    I am very fortunate in that I have always had wonderful family Christmasses. I have however not had both of my children home for Christmas for the past 3 years and that did tend to make me very ‘unchristmassy’. Not the case year so I am looking forward to it immensely. Hope you have a great cruise!!!

    • Janet Camilleri says

      12/12/2014 at 5:07 pm

      Thanks Kathy! Yes I would miss my kids too if they weren’t around for Christmas.

  4. KezUnprepared says

    12/12/2014 at 4:13 pm

    Have a wonderful time!! I can see how the lead up would bring up memories and cause stress for you. Glad you’re looking after yourself 🙂 Your family will thank you for it!

    • Janet Camilleri says

      12/12/2014 at 5:07 pm

      Thanks Kez! I’ve already told the hubster that next year we are BOTH going away as his stress levels are going through the roof with all the Christmas chaos!

  5. Rae Hilhorst says

    12/12/2014 at 9:12 pm

    My Christmas past still haunts me. Have a brilliant time xxx

    • Janet Camilleri says

      12/12/2014 at 9:52 pm

      I’m glad I’m not the only one … although I’m thankful that Christmas is a lot better these days!

  6. Pinky Poinker says

    13/12/2014 at 8:41 am

    My friend Kaz is going on a cruise to the same place an the same day. I wonder if it’s the same one!

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Janet Camilleri is an Australian bloggerHi - I'm Janet Camilleri aka the Middle Aged Mama; crazy cat lady, award-winning business woman, and mother of two grown children. I might be a middle aged woman, but that doesn't mean I've lost all interest in looking stylish! I love chocolate, chick lit, cruising holidays and the husbear - and not necessarily in that order wink. I live in Brisbane, Australia, and I'm learning how to fashion a new life now that we have an empty nest - did somebody say "travel"?!

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