In honour of the last day of the I Must Confess Linkup, hosted by the lovely Kirsty at My Home Truths, I’m making a really big confession.
Something I’m really embarrassed about. Only my immediate family knows this about me; in fact, I don’t even think my children know.
You see, for years, I was a head banger. And it’s got nothing to do with heavy metal music!
Toddler Headbanging
How cute was I as a bub!
I would bang my head against the pillow to go to sleep.
Now if you are worried about your toddler headbanging, don’t be – most children outgrow it by the time they start school.
It started when I was a toddler, as a way of soothing myself to sleep; although hitting your head against the pillow rhythmically until you’re worn out doesn’t sound particularly soothing does it! My family used to call it “bonking” rather than headbanging – of course this was before the word became associated with other bedtime activities …
Some children suck their fingers or thumbs. Not me. I was a head banger!
So what? You might be thinking. No biggie.
Teen Headbanging
Until I tell you that I continued my little headbanging habit, well into my teens. I was nearly 20 when I stopped.
18 years old and still headbanging 🙁
I broke the habit forever, the night I left home (or rather, got kicked out and became a couch surfer). I laid my head on my (borrowed) pillow, in a friend’s house, and slept like a baby. I have never needed or felt like headbanging, since!
According to my research, this problem appears most commonly in children with Autism; but being such a friendly, outgoing little girl, I clearly wasn’t autistic.
It can also be a sign of extra intelligence – and I guess this was true in my case. When I did an IQ test in teacher’s college, I had the highest in the group. I was never told the exact score, just that it was over 130 and meant I could have been eligible for membership in Mensa! Pretty sure I wouldn’t do anywhere near as well in an IQ test these days though. Ahhh, the joys of middle age … 😉 .
In hindsight however, my teen headbanging was a sign of massive anxiety. Which, given what I endured as a youngster (the trauma of being raised by an abusive parent with a severe mental illness), was not at all surprising.
Fortunately, I managed to stop headbanging when I had sleepovers, or went on camps. But at home – I couldn’t sleep without it.
As a teenager, I was terrified that I would never be able to get married, with such a distressing and embarrassing little bedtime habit!
Now I just feel enormous sadness for that troubled girl that I was – and thankful that I did eventually outgrow it.
Have you ever heard of toddler headbanging – or teen headbanging?! What was your little childhood habit?!
Great confession. I bang my head against the pillow when I need to remind myself what time I need to get up in the morning. If it is 6am – I bang 6 times.
That’s a good way to get it to stick in your brain!
Well this post isn’t what I imagined. So sad you had the childhood you did.
LOL sorry I couldn’t resist the play on words.
You were a cute little headbanger, Janet. Such a sweetie! I used to jump up and down on the spot, flap my hands and rock. All of which made sense when I found out I was autistic at 40! Better late than never. In fact I still rock, but luckily I never do it in public. Funny how your family called your head banging bonking. Snorts.
I did think about having “bonking” in the title of the post but thought that might be taking it a tad too far! LOL
Yes I have. I had my own little quirks. Funny to look back on them now.
I’m sure we all do; I just think mine would have to be one of the most embarrassing!
This post took a different turn to what I expected. What a sweet little bubba you were. I’m so sorry you had such a rough childhood, but look at you now. Beautiful, thoughtful, a loving mother and wife. What’s a little headbanging in hindsight xx
If that’s the only effect it had, I’m lucky!!!
I’m so sorry for your childhood Janet and for all that head banging. I’m a nail biter – still do it and probably always will – comes from stress and a messy childhood I guess.
I used to bite my nails too. Not sure when I stopped but it was a long long time ago.
And I thought you might have confessed to being a Status Quo follower (like me!) I was ‘that’ kind of headbanger – oh and also the ‘bang 6 times to wake up at 6am’ type. Yep, troubled childhoods have lots to answer for. I’m glad you’ve come through okay x
Oh I do like Status Quo too, though the Coles ads ruined one of their songs for me for ever!
Like Raychael I was expecting a post about something slightly different after reading your heading!
I’m glad you no longer need to headbang! It sounds painful, both the need for it and the action of it!
You were a very cute baby btw!
I know I just want to pick my baby self up and kiss those chubby little cheeks!
Awww, you were such a cute little baby!! 🙂
I don’t think I had any toddler habits, but my daughters all loved to carry around a little blankie with them wherever they went!
Oh yes, Miss 19 had a blankie, Mr 22 had a tiny little pillow 🙂
Clearly the headbanging was your way of dealing with the stress of your life – once the stress was removed, the headbanging stopped too. Thank you for being such a committed supporter of this linkup. I’ve loved reading your confessions and I’ll definitely be an active reader in future x
Naww thanks Kirsty. Was just working on my post for Monday (as I will be leaving for PBevent shortly) and it felt so weird not to add the I Must Confess linky x