Miss 17 was quite shaken after a recent incident on public transport which left her feeling very unsafe.
It seems she’s not alone. Perhaps you saw the media coverage of the young woman sexually assaulted by a fellow passenger on a Gold Coast bus – and not one other person came to her aid.
Why didn’t the other passengers come to her aid? Or the bus driver? Why didn’t she say something, or even push the man away? What would you have done if you had been in that young girl’s shoes?
Is Public Transport Safe for Women?
Miss 17 was on the bus home from work one evening when she realised that a man, sitting diagonally opposite behind her, was taking photos of her on his phone.
I know I’m totally biased as her mother, but Miss 17 is beautiful, and does tend to attract admiring glances and attention wherever she goes (much to her father’s dismay!).
But this was just plain creepy. Apparently the photographer couldn’t have been much more obvious – the sound was turned up on his phone so she heard each “click”, and when she did turn around to see who was doing it, he would hastily look away.
She texted us for help, but what could we do? Fortunately she was just a few minutes from her stop, where we picked her up and drove her the rest of the way home (as is our usual habit – even though we live close to the bus stop, we just don’t feel it is safe for her to walk home after dark).
Should she have alerted the bus driver? Or the other passengers? As the Gold Coast example shows, it wouldn’t necessarily have helped!
We discussed phoning the police to report the incident, but decided against it for a number of reasons: firstly, we didn’t feel it would be taken seriously; secondly, because Miss 17 often catches that particular bus and didn’t want a repeat event or to become the subject of a stalker. Thirdly, after the event it all seemed a bit too late to do anything about it.
Although the photographer was definitely violating her in a sense by taking her picture without her permission, raising the matter there and then would have likely only increased the threat to her personal safety.
Obviously it is nowhere near as traumatising as the case of the Gold Coast woman – but it does beg the question: where does this sort of behaviour cross the line? And what can a woman, travelling alone, do about it?
Do you feel safe as a woman travelling on public transport at night – or even during the day? Why/why not? How would you have handled either of these incidents?
I think I would suggest she discreetly take a photo of him and sms it to you if it happens again. I’ve only experienced the one issue on the bus and the driver called security and they pulled up along side and entered the bus within minutes.
Great idea, I’ll tell her “just in case” … for next time.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear that, your poor daughter. It sucks that women can’t feel safe in public spaces. I hate to say it, but I could dine out on stories of sexual harrassment and intimidation on public transport over the years (I won’t share them because no doubt having a gorgeous 17 year old of your own is enough to worry about). The worst thing is that it is hard to know whether stepping up and being assertive will put a stop to things or escalate them. God, this brings back some horrible memories. I’m glad she is safe, and hope she never encounters this creep again.
That’s it exactly – will being assertive put a stop to it, or make it worse? It’s so hard to know!
That’s a hard situation to know what to do. The problem is that people just don’t come to your aid on public transport. I would just remind her that she doesn’t have to talk to the person, then the driver if she feels unsafe – that if she thinks she’s at risk she can just call the police straight away (perhaps moving a few seats away if possible first). And don’t forget that buses usually have security cameras, so note the bus rego, route and time in case it needs to be diarised if it keeps happening – of course I hope it doesn’t, but more info is better in all cases.
I think all of us were just so caught off guard – it’s not something we’d ever thought of before! Miss 17 reads this blog so I know she will be taking note of all the helpful suggestions 🙂
If it happens again get your daughter to tell the driver immediately. The driver is able to radio the police to have them meet the bus. Buses also have CCTV so even after the event the footage can be downloaded by the bus company and provided to the police to follow up. I’m glad your daughter is okay.
Great advice, thanks Ingrid!
I didn’t feel safe when I lived in Sydney at night which is why I’d take taxis but now I’m in Qld I don’t use public transport, sitting at the front by the driver is my top top to feeling safe!
You hear that Miss 17? Sit near the bus driver!!!
That is really creepy. I had a few bad experiences on the tube in London when I was young, generally because the carriages are full and people are jammed up against you and they don’t think you’ll notice if they rub up against you a bit more than is necessary. I think you get a definite feeling when someone around you isn’t quite right, and at that age, getting help or even looking like you’re close to help ie near the driver is the best defence.
I think it helped her to know she was in contact with us even though it was only via text.
This is so creepy – and potentially very scary! It’s so not ok for people to violate other’s like that. I live in Sydney and use the buses to get to work everyday. Thankfully I only use them during peak hour times and i’m only on the bus for about 10 minutes at most. But I always make the conscious decision to get a taxi if it’s late in the evening and i’m on my own.On advice of my partner (policeman and reading this over my shoulder) you can definitely put in a report and the bus company will be required to follow it up. xx #ibot
Oh, thank you for the info! Good to know this sort of thing is taken seriously, even if it is just a random weirdo taking pics.
Ingrid is spot on! Tell the driver next time. And you aren’t being biased Janet. She’s exquisite!
That is just horrible, frightening and ugly. I would have told the driver, do you have cameras on your buses maybe they could identify him . Going to the police, I know would be difficult and wouldn’t want to do that either. Seriously creepy, sorry to hear, sending a hug wishing for a safer world x
How scary for your daughter. There are a lot of creepy people out there. This story reminded me of an experience my sister had. She was followed on several occasions by a weird guy from her work. He started catching her bus, walking near her house and then he did the stupid thing of putting some very strange words to her in an email. I hope your daughter doesn’t run into this guy again. I like Mystery Case’s idea.
Oh Janet, that is really scary, I don’t know what I would have done in that situation. All I can say is that I am glad my days of using public transport were before the smart-phone era! Freaky!
(Visiting from #teamIBOT today)
Sounds creepy and scary! Agree with others about alerting drivers. I wouldn’t rely on aids from other passengers because most people wouldn’t want to get into trouble nor risk their lives.
I remember living in Brisbane many years ago and it was quite safe. I had no problem walking home from bus / train stop in the dark. Maybe I was lucky and I wasn’t aware nor think about the possible dangers. Gold Coast was considered a even safer place. It’s so horrible to read news like this many years later.
I don’t use public transport anymore. I simply cannot deal with the hassle of maintaining a Myki thingyame so I just drive. As a teen I lived close to good PT (buses and trains) and went wherever I needed to quite safely. I don’t have that same confidence anymore. Because of where I live PT is pretty useless anyway so we just drive everywhere.
Oh your poor daughter! Luckily she had you to pick her up at the end. The buses don’t run at night here but there have been some dodgy characters during the day.
I would suggest sitting closer to the front of the bus, or at least moving seats to be closer if something happens while on the journey. While a bus driver might be reluctant to do anything if the person is at the back of the bus and they just want to keep driving to stay on time, they would probably be less willing to sit back if it was happening right under their nose.
She always sits near the front if possible nowadays, though she had to learn the hard way!
That is creepy. I’m not really sure what I would have done either. I hope it was a one off and doesn’t happen again.