This was a really hard post to write, as it makes me sound like a sad loser.
The truth is, lately I’ve noticed that friends are missing from my life.
I do have a couple of lovely friends that I catch up with fairly regularly – and of course there is my gorgeous daughter Miss 22 – but I’d like to expand my friendship circle.
I suspect my current predicament has a lot to do with:
- working from home for six years;
- living on the other side of town to where I grew up;
- leaving our church after 20 years (though to be honest I didn’t really have any close friends there either);
- or maybe I’ve just come up for air after the child-raising years?
What I’ve noticed is that many women my age have such full lives that they’re not interested in having new friends. I know in the past I’ve “clicked” with a couple of women I really wanted to form a friendship with, but they always seemed too busy for li’l ol’ me when I tried to arrange coffee or whatever.
If I were to write a “Friend Wanted” ad, it would probably look something like this …
Middle Aged Mama Looking for Friends (Women Only)
Hi! I’m a married middle aged mama of two grown children, looking for some new friends.
I don’t care if you are married, single, divorced or widowed, or whether you have kids. But if you do have a male partner, please don’t expect or demand that our husbands have to meet up and become friends too. Sure it’d be nice if they got on, but in my experience it’s a pretty rare thing. Besides my husband has enough friends; I’m the one that doesn’t.
Here’s what I’m looking for:
- Somebody local: preferably in the Redlands. While I still have a couple of friends from my high school days, we live on opposite sides of town and it’s just not the same.
- In an ideal world, I’d love to have a close friendship with another blogger. Or perhaps other business owner/solopreneur (but not party plan or MLM, sorry, that stuff just annoys me), that I could attend networking events with.
- Somebody who doesn’t mind the fact that I blog and play on social media, and understands if I take lots of photos for this purpose.
- Somebody who loves to chat, but is a deep thinker and enjoys having D&Ms (deep and meaningful conversations). For example, I have a Christian background, and am currently questioning matters of faith, so it would be great if you don’t mind discussing that.
Perhaps it’s a vain hope, but I’d really like to meet somebody who just “gets” me, quirks and all. That accepts me despite the fact that I have a bit of a phone phobia (so don’t expect me to phone you!); and that I’m a little bit hard of hearing. I also avoid conflict like the plague.
I don’t like competitive types who are into “one-upmanship”, nor am I interested in forming a close friendship with a smoker.
If you are a sporty type or fitness junkie, I don’t think we’d have much in common, but you never know.
In my downtime I love to read, or relax with a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, and I’m addicted to MAFS even if it is OTT this year (I don’t want to know if the couples have “been intimate” yet. Some things should be kept private).
If you were my friend, we could go for walks, catch up over coffee, and go shopping together (but on a budget – no brand names or expensive labels – if you love op shopping that’s a bonus!). I long to do more travelling, and wouldn’t mind doing some sort of crafts or handiwork with you or in a group – for example, if you could teach me to knit that’d be great!
I’m looking for somebody to do girly things with, that the hubster is just not interested in.
You don’t have to be a crazy cat lady 😉 , but we could definitely bond if you love fur babies of some sort.
In return – I’m open, honest and kind. I’m genuine and loyal. I like a good laugh but don’t need alcohol to have fun.
I’ve probably neglected to mention many things but you get the general idea.
Perhaps it’s time I turned to modern technology – these days there are even apps for making friends, much like the dating apps, but for platonic relationships only!
So what’s the verdict, dear reader: Am I expecting too much from new friends, or am I too fussy?