Some might say it’s a storm in a teacup – in other words, I’m getting upset about something that really isn’t such a big deal in the overall scheme of things.
(Oh, and while I’m at it – is it teacup or tea cup?! My natural instinct was to use it as two words, but the consensus online seems to be that “teacup” is the way to go).
Maybe it is, but it’s got me all confuzzled (totally a word).
Most of the time, I’m a tea drinker – and as I explained some time ago, to me, it’s much more than just a cup of tea.
And I love pretty things.
So you would think that I would love this teacup and saucer set.
Why it’s become a storm in a teacup
But instead it reminds me of a difficult time in my life, and even without drinking from it, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
You see back in 2012 when I was made redundant unexpectedly, this was my leaving present along with a bunch of flowers.
It was a thoughtful gift, no doubt chosen by one of my lovely workmates (and I’m pretty sure I know which one). But it seems puny in comparison to the many leaving gifts I contributed to or even organised during my nearly ten years at that organisation.
Rationally? I know that there were several redundancies at the time, so no doubt the people that were left had to dig deep, contributing to all of these farewell gifts.
But it still hurts, and every time I look at my teacup and what a small gift it was compared to others, it reminds me of the pain of feeling unloved and unwanted which redundancy typically generates (even if everybody assures you it’s not personal; it’s the job that has been made redundant, not you; my life is so much better now; blah blah blah).
For a long time I just kept my teacup on the bookshelves in my study where I didn’t really notice it, pulling it out to use as a prop for the occasional photo.
More recently, my teacup has been in storage for several months while we moved house, but just last weekend I unpacked it and all the hurt rose to the surface again.
The husbear wants to know why I don’t just get rid of it.
Maybe he’s right – if I can let it go physically, it will help me to let go symbolically. Once it’s gone, the reminder will be too.
One definition I came across said that “a storm in a teacup” means to be very upset or annoyed about something that is not at all important, and will soon be forgotten. Question is – do I want to forget? Isn’t that redundancy part of what has made the me of today?!
I know it’s not a big deal but I’m in a quandary, so would love to hear if you have any wisdom to offer about my teacup dilemma!
Snoskred says
Actually I have a two such similar quandary (quandaries?) myself but I’ve built a bridge over them.
I recently had to walk away from a job that I loved, which before I worked there I had bought two mugs from them and I bought another one while I was there. Turns out the owner was flat out psycho and staying would not have been good for my mental health so as much as I loved it and as hard as it was to do it, I had to quit.
These particular mugs are my morning coffee mugs, so every morning I am greeted by a reminder of all that pain and hurt feelings. There were times I really wanted to smash them with a hammer. But the truth is, how can I hold what that person did against those mugs? Plus, they are really awesome mugs. So these mugs have helped me work through some shiznit, and now I have a lot more respect and love for them.
And like yourself, I have discovered there is a reason I was put through that, and the reason is to start my own thing where I am the one in charge, so I am working on that now.
In the process of that work, I just threw out a mug that was given to me as a secret santa once, it was HUGE, probably held at least 700mls of coffee or tea or whatever. I loved that mug so much, I can’t even remember who gave it to me, but it was damaged and it had to go.
My advice – use it for your morning coffee and work through those feelings until they’re gone and you remember that this is just a tea cup and it is here to do a job, which is provide you with a drinking vessel, then learn to love it so much that when you have to let it go years from now, you miss it greatly. 🙂
Janet Camilleri says
Hi Snoskred, I love your thoughtful advice … I just don’t know if I am a strong enough person to follow your example though. I think my cup will be going to the op shop very soon.
Kathy Marris says
It is a very pretty teacup and saucer but if it brings back painful memories then I would let it go (along with the painful memory!)
Janet Camilleri says
That’s exactly what I’m thinking Kathy. The op shop it is!
Debbie says
I understand your dilemma having been through a similar issue. I agree it’s not fair but redundancy never is. I have been there too and still feel the pain of it at times. I’m not sure if getting rid of the teacup would actually help, you may need to get rid of the thoughts surrounding the gift and why you had to leave first. It’s worth a try but letting go is never easy. Good luck!
Janet Camilleri says
Hi Debbie, reading the responses to this post here and on my Facebook page I’ve realised I definitely have some “issues” as Kath and Kim would say, around that time. But do they bother me enough to seek out counselling? Probably not at this stage … I’m hoping time heals all wounds, and success (in my new business) is the best revenge LOL! I think the cup will be going to the op shop, why remind myself of unhappy times?
Christie Hawkes says
Hello Janet. I found your blog through your guest post on Write of the Middle, which I thoroughly enjoyed by the way. I’ve read both schools of thought in the comments. One keep the cup and work through the pain, the other to get rid of it. Why poke the sore spot? One other option, pack it away out of sight for a year and then pull it out and see how you feel. Make a final decision at that point. I hope you’ll let us know your final decision. Best of luck in your new venture!
~Christie
Janet Camilleri says
Hi Christie, lovely to meet you! I’m with you, why poke a sore spot 😉 off to the thrift shop it will go.
Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au says
Hi Janet – just catching up on all your recent posts. I left my job at the beginning of the year after dealing with a very damaged woman (the boss’s wife!) for 3 years and almost reaching breaking point. I’d toss the cup to the op shop and put the past where it belongs. My last “thing” was getting my group cert from them (a month late) and now I can cheerfully kiss them off and get on with life without the reminders. Good luck – and being happy is the best revenge 😀
Janet Camilleri says
Too right Leanne – love this ‘being happy is the best revenge’!
Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au says
PS – funny co-incidence is that the banner ad at the bottom of your blog shows as an ad for Vista Print personalized business coffee cups – it gave me a smile! Maybe they’re trying to tell you something??
Janet Camilleri says
Haha yes time to order a new coffee cup!!!