I MUST CONFESS … I used to be a compulsive cleaner-upper-er – a real neat freak.
Even when I went for a wee walk to the ensuite in the middle of the night, I couldn’t help myself – I had to straighten the towels before I stumbled back to bed. Disorder and chaos made me grumpy (actually it still does!) – I took great pride in my home, particularly when I was a Stay-At-Home-Mum.
My poor husbear and family. Imagine what they’ve had to put up with:
- unable to relax in front of the TV for fear of disturbing the cushions I’d so carefully arranged;
- being told not to make a mess with their toys (how else is a kid supposed to play with them?);
- fixing a snack only to find me tidying up behind them, grumbling about crumbs on the bench AGAIN.
As the years have gone by, I have had to learn to relax my housekeeping standards – or lose my sanity! Trying to juggle husband, children, house, work, and other activities leaves little time for fretting over crumbs on the floor.
Now that I work from home, I often have to turn a blind eye to the mess or I won’t get any of the (paid) work done. I make sure I am at my desk for 9am each week day. Even if the kitchen bench is a mess!
Introducing: The Cheat’s Guide to Housework!
But what about when people drop by? Because my time is so precious, and I don’t want to waste my life cleaning, I have come up with THE CHEAT’S GUIDE TO HOUSEWORK and am sharing my tried and tested 😉 tips with you:
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- Leave the vacuum cleaner out and plugged in, so that if unexpected guests stop in, you can say casually: “Oh, I was just about to do the vacuuming … ” so at least if the floor IS a pigsty, at least they think you were going to do something about it.
- Remember: Blue Loo hides a multitude of sins, and masks the fact that the toilet hasn’t been scrubbed for quite some time …
- Have a couple of “Get Well Soon” cards prominently displayed. That way they will assume that you have been unwell and unable to clean.
- Make the most of your oven and dishwasher. In the time it takes for your hubster or child to open the front door after the dreaded knock, it is amazing how much dirty crockery and cutlery you can stash in your oven and/or dishwasher (don’t worry about packing it neatly – just throw it in and close the door).
- A quick spray of lemon scent will fool people into thinking you’ve just cleaned. And a quick spray of room freshener will mask unpleasant odours that might be wafting from the kitty litter tray, the teenager’s socks behind the couch, or the bins that haven’t been taken out.
- A doona or duvet can be pulled up quickly even with a mess of tangled sheets beneath, and voila, your bedrooms look tidy.
- Have a designated drawer, cupboard or stylish box handy to wherever your hubster leaves things out (eg all over the dining room table). That way, tidying up is as simple as pushing all the bits and pieces into the box and out of the way. And if he wants anything, he knows where to find it (even if it IS a jumble of extension cords, USB cables, loose change, bits of paper, rubber bands, batteries, business cards, keys, and other miscellaneous items).
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You know I’m kidding (well mostly), right?! Just make sure you phone at least an hour before you come to visit :-).
NB This post was first published in 2013 but has been updated for your education and enjoyment 😉 .
Great (and sneaky!) tips! Though I must tell you – that kitchen isn’t messy! Now I’m quite self conscious about the state of our bench tops. They become an overflow space for junk when the dining table has filled up. Not by hubby, either… *looks sideways at wife* 🙂
Believe me Nathan, it gets a lot worse but I don’t usually take a photo of it so this was the only one I had on hand 😉
I do like the oven tip .
I must confess … I have actually done this …
Ha ha, i love your quick cleaning style! I must admit I have made a folder in the filing cabinet for the scraps of paper and bits my hubby leaves around called ‘miscellaneous crap’, thats where I tell him to look!
Only a folder? My, he IS self controlled! 😉
Yes I must say, my standards have lapsed a little since returning to work after number 3! But I honestly couldn’t leave the vacuum out, because it would drive me insane to see it sitting there not doing anything. I keep saying I need a cleaner, but I’m certain I wouldn’t find one who’d clean to my standards. We have a spare room, it’s a great place for shoving anything and everything that doesn’t seem to have a home. Doesn’t quite work out when someone comes to stay over though. Sigh. At least we’re trying!
Great post x
I would love a cleaner. But knowing hubster, he would whip around & tidy up before the cleaner arrived which kinda defeats the purpose!
I use to clean houses as a living and the owners would always tidy the house first.
Love it – great post! I rant and rave about all the things you do but it doesn’t seem to get me anywhere. No matter how many things I pick up or put away, the house still looks like a bomb has gone off inside of it. Toys, toys and more toys strewn everywhere! Grrrrrrrrrrr
Miss 16 is one of the worst culprits in our family. I keep finding (and treading on – ouch!): bobby pins, earrings, scrunchies and hair ties, other assorted jewellery …
What a great post, totally going to use some of these ideas Janet – you’re very funny! I too used to be a super neat freak but have had to let A LOT go now I have three messy kids – and it’s been really hard to be honest. I still spend half my day cleaning up after them! Unfort we no longer have a spare room to hide everything, and storage space is gone so that makes it harder 🙂 Hope you’re safe up there, blowing and raining cats and dogs down here xxx
And why is it people only drop in when it’s looking feral, not when it’s immaculate?!
Ha ha you had me laughing all the way through those tips. I’ve perfected leaving the vaccuum plugged in already. Mainly because I have nowhere to put it. I agree with Nathan though, that kitchen really isn’t messy. And I’d need more than an hours advance warning for drop ins..
Hope you are safe up there. x
Hi Ness, we are all good, a tree down at the end of our street but that’s about it. Happy to provide some light relief in the midst of all the weather woes!
I LOVE this Janet! I may have employed the” throw things into the dishwasher to get them off the bench” trick a few times – just ask my husband (who has already outed me in his comment above – how rude!!!) Thanks so much for joining in again this week with I Must Confess Janet!
Confession is good for the soul they say 😉
I thought the vacuum cleaner tip was good but then you brought out the Get Well Soon card and slayed me. NICE tips, Janet!! x
Glad you liked it! I’ve never thought of myself as funny but seems like I actually managed it with this post!
Haha! I really like your tips and tricks Janet! I might use some of them especially the lemon scent and the blue loo!
*cough* I may actually have done these myself …
Some great tips and tricks there. I love the one about a box to put everything in that shouldn’t be on the kitchen bench !!! My pet hate is mail gets opened and then everything left on the bench !!!!
Have a great week !
Me
My hubster hates it when I throw out junk mail catalogues – so we have a special basket just for that.
Great tips! I esp love the oven one hadn’t thought of that! I chuck stuff in the dishwasher, unstacked, anything that is on the sink goes in to hide it.
My pleasure Miss Sophie – happy to help!
Really digging this list! I just wish I could get used to leaving the vacuum out. In a small apartment that is already cluttered, I’d be tempted to pack it away. Visiting via FYBF.
I should add, the husband box sounds great but in my case, he already has 3 boxes on the dining room floor plus space in the bedroom and even bathroom. And there’s still stuff on the dining table. ????
LOVE it!!
I must confess that I try hard to declutter my house ….
Thanks for stopping by MultiBlogging Mum – nice to have you visit!
Some good tips and laughs here. My pet hat is that kitchen bench – not the one with food etc cut up, but the island part that accumulates everything (and hubby is at fault for a fair bit of it).
Ha ha that’s funny, I can’t go to bed unless everything is spotless. Even the dishes have be done as soon as it touches the sink. (So dishes are done 3 times a day minimum)
Blue loo OMG I hate that stuff, toilet is cleaned twice a day. If I use the oven, it’s cleaned the next morning. Seriously I’m bad.
I even shower 3 times a day. People say I’m OCD, but it should be CDO (alphabetical order) but I’m not really, I just like a clean and tidy place all day.
Hahaha good one! I shall take these tips on board. Never thought to store stuff in the oven (and we dont even have a dishwasher), great tip!