Some children are so good, they seem almost perfect!
Was (or is) one of your children, the “perfect child”?!
The perfect child is quiet and obedient, and rarely (if ever) disgraces you in public. They do their homework without being nagged, and even stress about doing well at school. They’re the sort of kids that don’t often get into trouble, are polite and courteous, and get comments like, “a pleasure to teach” on their report cards.
To many, it sounds like a dream!
Or perhaps if you have a child like this, you may be tempted to pat yourself on the back for your superior parenting skills. However, there’s a strong chance that there is actually a downside of the perfect child.
Of course, there is no such thing as the perfect child (or adult either!). While all of the traits above may seem to be positive, they may also be signs of a child who is struggling with anxiety according to psychologists.
The Downside of the Perfect Child
Has your perfect child ever experienced times when they:
- complained of mysterious aches and pains, eg tummy aches or headaches (perhaps before school?!);
- avoided new things or situations, especially ones you know they don’t like;
- succumbed to tears even in front of their peers;
- seemed hesitant to do as you ask;
- were often shy and reluctant to mix socially;
- feared “standing out” in the crowd, preferring to just blend in;
- needed more cuddles, pep talks, and reassurance;
- said “I can’t” a lot?
If you have found yourself nodding your head in agreement, it might be worth finding out more about anxiety in children, or perhaps even talking to a child psychologist.
I wish I had known about these things years ago; it is only now that I can truly see the struggles of my own “perfect child” for what they really are – signs of anxiety – even now into adulthood.
I also wish I knew more about how to support and encourage them even now, and that I didn’t feel like it was too late … I guess you could say it is one of my (thankfully few) parenting regrets.
What might you do differently, now that you are aware of the downside of the perfect child?!