So you probably think you already know what an introvert is, and whether you are one, and hasn’t this been done to death.
Well yes but … I gained a new perspective on it recently and you might just find it surprising. I know I did!
In any personality profile I’ve ever done, I’ve come up as an “extrovert” – including the well-known Myers Briggs test (I’m an ESFJ, in case you’re interested).
People Think I’m an Extrovert!
But here’s the thing I’ve learned: just because you are outgoing, doesn’t mean you are an extrovert.
For years I was seriously convinced I was an extrovert. After all, that’s what everybody else seemed to think I was. My co-workers (back in the day – Miss Fleur has never really voiced an opinion either way 😉 ) told me so. Friends and family described me as:
- bubbly,
- friendly,
- outgoing,
- chatty,
- confident,
- animated.
Unlike many people, I enjoy public speaking. That’s the sign of an extrovert, surely?!
Not necessarily.
Why I Think I’m an Introvert
Probably the first thing that give me a hint that maybe I wasn’t an extrovert, was the simple fact that I am a writer. Hello, introvert!
I’m quite happy with my own company. Most of my hobbies are primarily solitary pursuits: doing jigsaws, reading, going for walks, pottering in the garden. I can get lost in my own thoughts for hours. Seriously!
Then I heard somebody else say they were an introvert, “Because people drain me”. It was a real eureka moment for me.
Hi, my name’s Janet, and I’m an introvert.
Being an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m quiet, or reserved.
I don’t shy away from attention or avoid the spotlight (in fact I love it!).
I can make small talk, and introduce myself to new people at a workshop or conference, or take charge in a group – and I often do. Heck, I even ran a magazine for 14 years!
Oh, and when I was single, I might have been just a bit of a flirt too 😉 .
I still have a social life. I like to go to out and mix with people.
But the big difference is, I want, need and CRAVE time on my own. There are days (or weeks) when I feel “all peopled out”!
Looking back on it, I think this may even have been behind my decision to quit teaching many years ago. I didn’t belong in a people profession; it was incredibly draining for me. I’m much happier, puttering along doing my own thing, tapping away at my computer.
So there you have it: the surprising truth is that introverts can be outgoing, fun loving, bubbly, chatty, and all the rest. Who knew?!
I fully get this post. I too am an introvert … but love people. I simply need time alone to have the energy to switch on and be bubbly me. Knowing yourself well is a great thing … means you can learn how to meet your own needs.
Yes!!!! Just the fact you have to “switch on” says it all I think.
I totally understand what you’re saying. People confuse shyness with introversion. They’re two different things. I happen to be both, but they don’t always go together. Just goes to show that we shouldn’t take those personality tests as gospel.
Even if they are done by smarty pants psychologist types 😉
Oh me too, Janet. I often replay conversations I have with people because I find it stressful and draining.
Oh I hate that!!!!
I’m right there with you, Janet. I appear a confident, easy going extrovert, but after ‘extroverting’ for too long I feel myself becoming agitated and crave alone time. Extrovert periods are when I get my ideas, introvert periods are when I write about them. Thanks for this post – it’s so good to find my people!
So nice to find out tribe hey Patti!
Yep I am an introvert as I NEED alone time. I’m not shy or against public speaking or anything stereotypical of introversion though.
I think only YOU can know what you really are, deep down inside.