I have been thinking a bit lately about death and dying.
Frequent thoughts of death and dying can be a sign of depression, but I don’t think that’s so in my case.
Some would say this is all part and parcel of a midlife crisis, and with my 50th birthday not so far way, perhaps they are right. Though I really don’t feel in a state of crisis – in fact I would go so far as to say I am really enjoying this stage of my life!
But with such a milestone birthday looming, there is a sense that my time on planet earth is running out.
I think we are all scared to death, of death, to some degree (and those who say they aren’t are lying 😉 ).
But I feel as if I am reaching a place of acceptance. I’m certainly not looking forward to death, nor do I wish for it, but I know that it is … inevitable. Nobody knows when their time is up. I could have another 5 decades. Or it could be only another 5 days.
Whenever my time comes, reflecting on the matter I am satisfied with this life of mine. Sure, there is plenty more I would like to achieve, do, experience, see and try if I get the chance. But I’m grateful for where I am now and all that I have:
- A loving husband;
- Great kids;
- Work I love;
- A sense of purpose;
- Family and friends;
- A very nice roof over my head;
- Two kitty cats;
- Good health;
- The opportunity to travel a little;
- A creative outlet here on my blog.
I am truly rich!
Perhaps it stems from my “little incident”, recovering from my first surgery 4 years ago. You see, I nearly died – I stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated. When I woke up, I had no memory of it – absolutely no idea at all. It was just like I had been asleep. And as I love sleep, that is not such a bad thing!
From a religious point of view, I am not so arrogant as to assume I know what lies beyond death.
Personally, I hold to a Christian belief which has perhaps mellowed over the years (some might say watered down). As in, while that’s MY belief – who am I to say that other religions have got the wrong end of the stick? What if I’m the one that’s got it wrong? If that’s the case, I have no regrets – my faith certainly hasn’t done me any harm and has sustained me many times throughout my life.
Of course I am saddened by the thought of my life coming to an end and being separated from my nearest and dearest. But let’s face it, it’s highly likely I won’t be in a position to know or care when it does happen!
My sadness and regret is mostly for the ones I will leave behind – so I hope for their sake it’s not anytime soon!
What are your thoughts on death and dying? Is it possible to think about it without getting too morbid (which is what I hope I have done here!)?
Linking up with Kylie Purtell for IBOT.