To my Daughter on her 21st Birthday

An Open Letter to My Gorgeous Girl on the Occasion of her 21st Birthday

Dear Julia,

It’s 21 years today since you arrived in the world, much loved and much wanted.

All through my pregnancy I suspected you were a girl, but we waited until you were born to find out for sure.

The Day You Were Born

After an agonising 18 hours in labour (due to posterior presentation) and an epidural to bring your older brother in the world, I was granted my desire for a much speedier and more active labour: just three hours from start to finish. As we were ushered into the birthing suite at the Mater, I saw that it was 6.01pm on the Suncorp clock in the city. You were born at 6.47pm!

Walking around and pelvic rocking really helped with the pain; once I hit transition however I panicked and demanded an epidural, only to be told it was too late – eek! (If only I’d known then about hypnobirthing!)

As soon as you were born however, it was all worth it.

I sank back on the bed, exhausted – but I still didn’t know if you were a boy or girl as nobody thought to tell me! So even though I was feeling weak and queasy after a fast labour and delivery, I sat up to lift the umbilical cord myself – and found that you were indeed, a baby girl.

The midwife asked what your name would be, and your dad explained that we weren’t quite sure but the current favourite was “Julia”. The midwife gestured at her name tag and grinned widely, saying, “I think that’s a wonderful name!”

Yep, you guessed it, her name was Julia. You were born so quickly we hadn’t even had a chance to talk to her before that!

I was overjoyed to be the mother of two children – a gorgeous little boy and now, a baby girl.

Your dad took several weeks off when you were born, which helped to ease us into our new family life, and you quickly settled into a routine of feed, wake time, sleep – every three or so hours.

As a Baby

You gave me a lovely Christmas present – that night you slept through from your 10.30 pm feed until 10 til 7 the next morning!

You cut your first tooth when you were 5 months old, started crawling at 7 1/2 months, and were walking at 10 months. After that, there was no stopping you … you adored your big brother and he was quite taken with you, too 😉 .

As a toddler you very definitely had a mind of your own (some things never change!).

You hated being confined to your stroller when we were out! And you didn’t like to wear shoes either. In desperation, I bought you a pair of silver mary janes – they were sparkly so I thought we would have better luck with you actually keeping them on, and I was right 😉 . And in summer, you had your pretty “rainbow shoes” instead.

We used to call you the Queen of Tantrums, and I very quickly learned to schedule errands and outings around your short fuse. At first I knew I had an hour before you lost the plot, but it became less and less, until all I had to do was set foot in the bank or the shops and all hell would break loose!

There was nothing I could do but pick you up (kicking, thrashing and screaming – you, not me, that is!), put you in the car and drive home. You would scream so much when I put you in time out in your room, that I’m sure the neighbours wondered what was going on!

Once you turned 2, you started going to daycare one day a week while your brother was at kindy, which gave me a chance to do errands in peace.

And yet – you were an absolute delight too. You had a real zest for life, and a gorgeous cheeky smile and giggle. You loved being cuddled, and you especially loved your mama, and would follow me everywhere, my devoted shadow.

From an early age I learned the way to handle the 5 o’clock horrors was to pop you in your high chair, and get you to “help” me cook dinner – and you have loved to cook, ever since.

When you were about 3 or 4 I thought about going back to work and even applied for a job at your brother’s school – which I didn’t get. But as I held your hand and walked back to the car after school drop off, I realised just how happy I was that I could be at home with my girl for just a bit longer.

You have always been a social butterfly, and loved company, having people over or going out, which remains true today.

Your School Years

Do you remember how I used to pretend to be “Ze French Hairdresser” when I would do your hair for school each morning?!

You enjoyed primary school, making friends easily, and pleasing your teachers with your attitude and efforts. You loved the great outdoors, and animals of any sort. For a while you adopted the blue tongue lizard which lived under the hot water system, wrapping him in a towel and bringing him inside to “watch TV”!

In hindsight though, I wish we’d held you back a year before sending you to school. It wasn’t fair to place you with peers that were a year older, not so much academically, but rather socially. It didn’t particularly matter at primary school but I think this made high school more difficult for you.

Even though we were close, the teenage years weren’t particularly easy. But I always had faith that you would come good, because I knew that deep inside you had a beautiful heart – and just look at you now!

You always said you wanted to move out when you turned 18, so it shouldn’t have come as any surprise when you did. My heart broke a little that day, I wasn’t ready for it at all.

And yet – you have proven yourself over the last three years, working and supporting yourself, cooking and looking after your “crib”, travelling overseas. You’ve even become a mum yourself to your precious fur babies!

Your employers are always impressed with your good work ethic, and you are always willing to help. You have a caring nature, and a tender and generous heart. Oh, and you are a lot smarter than you think you are – trust me – a mama knows these things.

I loved it when you told me earlier this year that you wanted to find a man who treated you as well as your dad treats me – and I couldn’t agree more, because you are SO worth it!

I am so thrilled that you have grown up to be not just my daughter, but one of my best friends. I never got to experience the joy of a mother-adult daughter relationship with my own mum, so it is doubly precious to have that with you.

In many ways you are still finding your feet, but I know that whatever the future holds, you will approach it with gusto and enthusiasm.

Your Dad and I are so proud of you, happiest of birthdays to our darling girl.

lots of love Mama xxx