I’m a bit of a Big Brother tragic – have loved the show from the very first series back in 2001.
Apart from anything else, it’s about the only TV show that my whole family (the hubster, myself, Mr 19 and Miss 16) enjoys and will settle in together to watch. Now that’s what I call quality family time! 😉
If you’ve been following it this season too, you will know that Tully has been getting very cosy with fellow housemate Drew – despite the fact she has a partner in the outside world. They’ve been very “affectionate” as Tully calls it, cuddling, spending time together, and whispering sweet nothings to each other.
This week, it seems there’s been some serious snogging (and who knows what else!) going on under cover of the doona!
When Is It Cheating?
Somehow I don’t think Tully’s partner has been terribly impressed by her antics, as she posted this on Twitter earlier this week …
Which brings me to my question – what constitutes cheating? When you are already in a relationship, at what stage do you think it has gone too far – flirting with a member of the opposite sex? Kissing? Or more?
The hubster and I care a lot about our marriage relationship and have set guidelines in place to protect it. We know that human nature being what it is, there will be times of temptation. We figure that the best way to avoid problems is to have safeguards and boundaries in place.
As a result, we don’t “do lunch” with a member of the opposite sex. Old fashioned? Over the top? Maybe. But we think it’s a good clear boundary, and saves us from heading down that slippery slope to temptation.
To me, kissing is definitely going too far, let alone anything more than that.
I’ve toned down the flirtatious ways of my youth too. Sure, it’s okay when you’re single, but is it still harmless fun when you are in a relationship? I don’t want to do anything that might hurt my hubster. I know that I’d be crushed if he flirted with another woman. So another guideline we’ve set is: no flirting (except with each other!).
Friendly or Flirtatious?
Yes, at times it can be tricky to find that balance between just being friendly with a member of the opposite sex, and not head into flirtation territory, especially for somebody as outgoing as me! If anything maybe I err too much on the side of caution and don’t really have a lot to do with males except in the context of a group, or with my hubster.
We are careful in other ways too. For example, the hubster will never drive a female anywhere on his own (except for me and Miss 16). Although I trust him, I appreciate that he is thoughtful to not even do something that might “look” a bit odd to other people. The other benefit is that nobody could ever accuse him of hitting on them because he just doesn’t allow himself to get into a situation where that accusation could be made.
Now over to you – what do you think constitutes going too far – when is it cheating?
Linking up with Francesca Writes Here for Thankful Thursday, because I’m thankful to have such a great hubster and marriage!
I agree with you – putting yourself out of temptations way certainly makes it easier not to get into a situation that could turn out badly. We have never set any guidelines / boundaries but have both done pretty much the same and you and your husband.
I used to get very jealous when A used to get seats for other ladies or drinks when they had their partners there until I realised that those were some of the qualities that attracted me to him in the first place – and he doesn’t mean anything by it, he is just a gentelman and considerate of others.
I am not a fan of Big Brother although I do see snippets of it now and again as K is a follower !!!! I don’t think I would be very happy if Tully was my partner and carrying on like that on national TV – unless she is just playing the game because apparently ‘couples on BB are less likely to get voted off’ according to someone in the office !!!
Have the best day !
Me
Oh me too! My hubster is also a gentleman, and like you I had to realise that his beautiful manners and consideration for others (not just ladies) was part of why I love him.
The only Big Brother I ever watched was the first one so I’m not up on what’s happening today. My husband and I don’t have boundaries and I really don’t think we need any, the topic hasn’t even come up. My husbands job as a Purchasing Manager means that he’d be talking to women all the time and quite possibly lunching with them if they are trying to sell their business/product, I have absolutely no problem with this because I have the utmost trust in my husband. I’m quite happy for my husband to go out with his mates to footy or the like and he’s happy for me to do the same. But you know, every single relationship is different and I think if it works for you, well then who cares about everyone else!
Before I met the hubster I had a habit of flirting and then breaking up with one bf and having another one ready … so these rules definitely work for me. It’s not the hubster I don’t trust, it’s ME!!!
A very interesting post Janet. I agree with setting boundaries but I do occasionally have lunch with people of the opposite sex at work – I do let my husband know but it’s interesting that you have considered that and have decided together on avoiding certain situations. It obviously works for you!
Very interesting. I totally think physical contact would count as cheating. I loved the frst seaso of big brother, eery one after has been full of tryhards trying to be famous!!
It’s hard to draw a line isn’t it?!
I’m with you on boundaries. I don’t think I have any male friends who are not also Hubby’s friends. Your partner should be your focus.
Thanks for linking up 🙂
Absolutely agree 🙂
I think the boundaries would be different for everyone. I don’t watch BB, but they would definitely have crossed the line for me, even before the snogging. x
Yup me too – even the other housemates have been saying the same thing.
We have a rule of not being alone with anyone that might give the wrong impression. Much like your husbands car rule it takes away any speculation. It wouldn’t need to get to kissing for me to say it had crossed the line, it’s a lot about the emotional line for me personally.
(popping over from Maxabella’s rewind)
Welcome Lila! Yes, I think you’re right – it crosses the line before kissing in my book too.
Hi there … I’ve dropped by from Maxabella’s Weekend Rewind.
I’m old fashioned too. Very much so. Our marriage is sacred. It is based on trust and faith.
Both my husband and I have been married before. Both our ex spouses cheated on us. It was obviously devastating. The foundation of our marriage is our mutual commitment to fidelity. Within that boundary we’ve set together, we thrive 🙂
I like your thinking Jo, love “our marriage is sacred. It is based on trust and faith”. Ours too.