Forget the rosy picture painted by retailers – for some of us, Mother’s Day hurts like hell.
It could be that your mother has passed away. Or maybe your mum lives a long way away, in another state or even country.
Then there are women who long to become mothers themselves, but for some reason or other it just hasn’t happened.
My story is a little different.
It’s hard to sum up a lifetime of hurt and anguish in one little blog post. The short version is that my mum had severe mental health issues – these days, we believe she may even have been a sociopath. Needless to say, growing up with a parent in need of more parenting than I did, was extremely difficult.
Things didn’t improve after I left home, despite my best attempts. In the end, my Mum and I were estranged for many years before she died.
She refused to come to my wedding, and never met my children. As a mum myself, this only emphasizes the severity of her illness – because there is no way I could ever turn my back on my children.
I grieved the loss of my mother many years before she died. I still vividly remember going to the shops with my two small children, and everywhere I looked were other young mums with their mothers alongside, doting on their grandchildren – a sight that nearly always made me cry.
I Hated Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day only served as a painful reminder of how although I had a mother, she wanted nothing to do with me (or my siblings).
Over the years, I have worked really hard at forgiving my mother – not because she ever admitted she’d done anything wrong (let alone asked for forgiveness), or because she deserved it, but because it was the only way I could set myself free.
By the time I learned that she had passed away (nearly five years after the event – that says it all doesn’t it!), I had reached a point where I sincerely wished the best for her and hoped that she was leading a happy life.
It was only as my own children arrived, that I began to enjoy Mother’s Day again. Oh and I have another reason to love Mother’s Day now – PRESENTS! Apparently this is only part of the loot my kids have ready to give me on Sunday:
How spoiled am I?!
That’s my story – no matter what yours is, if Mother’s Day hurts like hell for you too, I send you a great big hug!
If you also dread Mother’s Day, how do you cope with it each year?