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When People Talk Behind Your Back …

Janet Camilleri · 30/10/2017 ·

… without saying a word!

office

Because my copywriting business is based from my home, office politics and pettiness are no longer part of my nine-to-five existence.

This was brought home to me recently when I was chatting to a few people following a meeting in a clients’ office – and I intercepted The Look.

The Look

You know the one. The one where two people have a silent conversation about you behind your back, using only their eyes – and you look up and catch it.

While it might be a bonding experience for the two sharing The Look – the same as when they talk behind your back – it’s not a nice feeling to realise that YOU are the subject of their derision.

You’re not quite sure exactly what was communicated, but you’re pretty sure it involved a rolling of the eyes. You’re left thinking: What was that all about?!

  • Do they not like you?
  • Your enthusiasm?
  • Your outfit?
  • Did you say something stupid?
  • Is this their way of showing that you are an outsider and they don’t respect what you have to say?

Realising that *I* had been the subject of The Look is a rarity these days, so I didn’t really know how to react. So I just ignored it and carried on with my conversation.

when people talk behind your back

The Stare

When I told the hubster about it that night, he sympathised and told me that his favoured strategy is to use a little non-verbal communication of his own: The Stare.

The Stare involves just looking at the culprits, without speaking.  Silence with prolonged eye contact will let them know that you are aware of the situation and don’t appreciate it. If they are feeling guilty already, this will make them squirm even more!

Upon reflection, I half-wish I’d been prepared and had given them The Stare.

The other part of me is glad I just glossed over it, as they probably already realised they’d been caught in the act. By continuing to act as normal, I communicated to them that I am happy in myself, confident, and am not bothered by what they may or may not think of me.

Still, it left me a bit shaken – and more thankful than ever that I am no longer subject to office politics on a regular basis!

How do you handle it when people talk behind your back – even if it is just with The Look?!

Filed Under: Relationships, Work & Finances

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Julia says

    30/10/2017 at 4:59 pm

    I got your back Mummy xx

    • Janet Camilleri says

      31/10/2017 at 10:11 am

      Oh if only everybody had a gorgeous daughter like you!

  2. Renee Vandenberg says

    31/10/2017 at 7:32 am

    Practice the Stare, it works every time and ignore them, pathetic witches.

    • Janet Camilleri says

      31/10/2017 at 10:12 am

      Yes I thought it was rather clever of hubby! 😉

  3. Bec Senyard says

    08/11/2017 at 12:32 pm

    Oh that is awful Janet. I know I have been the subject of conversations and your hubby’s advice to stare is a great strategy. Doesn’t work when you know conversations have happened when you’re not there. People show their true colours when they engage in conversation about someone else in front of them. It says more about them than you. I happen to think you’re fabulous. xx

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Meet the Middle Aged Mama

Janet Camilleri is an Australian bloggerHi - I'm Janet Camilleri aka the Middle Aged Mama; crazy cat lady, award-winning business woman, and mother of two grown children. I might be a middle aged woman, but that doesn't mean I've lost all interest in looking stylish! I love chocolate, chick lit, cruising holidays and the husbear - and not necessarily in that order wink. I live in Brisbane, Australia, and I'm learning how to fashion a new life now that we have an empty nest - did somebody say "travel"?!

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