It’s been about 8 weeks since Miss 18 moved out of home, and I am coping surprisingly well.
We have managed to put together the best of the old habits along with some new routines, to create a new kind of normal.
What A New Kind of Normal Looks Like
One of the old habits we have re-invented, is having “family dinner” one night a week.
I Must Confess: it’s easy to get a bit slack about cooking dinner now it’s pretty much just the hubster and I (Mr 20 works until late in the evening) – and even when we do cook, we will often eat in front of the TV. So a proper home-cooked meal is a special treat, and all the more precious because of the laughter and conversation around the table.
All the tension seems to have disappeared; the hubster in particular seems to be finding it a lot easier to “let go” and just enjoy the company of our grown children.
Miss 18 and I go for coffee together regularly and text often. In fact, one of my favourite new routines is sending Miss 18 her “Daily Fleur” text. Each morning I send her a pic of our kitty (heaven knows I take enough of them!); and I’m told that it is the highlight of Miss 18’s day. I think she needs to get a life 😉 !
Seriously though, I’m thrilled that we still share our love of all things cute, even though we live apart.
Truth be told we probably see more of Miss 18 now than when she lived at home! When she has an early shift, there are no buses in her new area and if you’ve ever tried to order a taxi in peak hour, you’ll know it’s almost impossible (and if they do turn up they’re an hour late). As a result, she “sleeps over” about once a week so she can get to work on time in the morning. Of course she has to make do with a mattress in the lounge, as her brother quickly took over her bedroom for displaying his collectibles … it could be interesting if she ever decides to move back …
I think the kids communicate occasionally and have even been known to watch a movie together, which is nice to see 🙂 .
So to other families on the verge of having their chicks fly the nest … it’s not too bad. You’ll soon find that, like me, you’re enjoying this new kind of normal!
What do you look forward to / enjoy about having your chicks flown from the nest?
Linking up with My Home Truths.
That is good to hear Janet. My daughter’s room is now a B&B room so when she comes home she needs to book! My son’s room is still pretty much intact but within the next few weeks he is moving into a place with his girlfriend so everything will probably go. I’m not sure what we will do with his room yet. We are in constant contact with both of our kids and we have a very close relationship (just as you do). 🙂
It’s turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would 🙂
My three are now 14, 15 and about to turn 17. Miss 17 is heading overseas with school next month. She’s saved the entire 4.5k plus spending money herself and I’m so proud but it is making me worry and think about the not too distant future when they all fly the nest.
Oh my that’s a big step! And well done to your Miss 17 – such motivation!
I’m reading a book and they say the hideous teen years make the mother okay when their child moves out, as they’ve been subconsciously preparing for it, and it’s the father who struggles more (as he hasn’t had to be policeman, nagger, voice of reason etc)
What book is it Lydia? I think I need to read it – sounds spot on to me!
It’s still a long way off for me so I haven’t given it much thought. On bad days when I’m longing for peace and quiet I can’t wait and other days I think: careful what you wish for! I’m glad it’s all falling into place for you and your family. xo
I know what you mean, it always seem such a long way off and then BAM, it’s here …
What do I look forward to when my chicks leave the nest? A clean home… bowls and cups that migrate to the dishwasher instead of infesting every nook and cranny… the absence of loud and violent wargames being played in our loungeroom… so many things to look forward to. One of them ISN’T missing the kids!
You’re right Nicola, I have DEFINITELY noticed the house is easier to keep clean these days!!!
I am the chick who flew the nest at 18 (my child is only 3 so I am yet to know the joys). My mum said she loved how they hardly had to buy tomato sauce anymore and there was always a surplus of toilet paper after I left haha.
But seriously, you develop a new adult to adult relationship (even though you’ll always be mum and daughter). I appreciate my mum so much more and I think she feels the same. My mum also sends me photos of her cats hahaha.
It’s so good to hear that you are still a big part of each other’s lives even though you no longer share a home. I hope I have a similarly close relationship with my kids when they are grown and flown the nest!
As much as my kids can get on my nerves or I need some time to myself, I am not looking forward to the day one of them moves out. Makes me sad just thinking about it.
I’m so glad to hear that you are feeling positive about Miss 18 moving out. It’s great that you guys still see each other so much. Probably by the time the teens are over, I’ll be glad to be able to walk around in my underwear again lol!