I’ve never felt quite comfortable kissing my children on the lips.
My preference was always to kiss their cheeks or the top of their heads or toes or … anywhere except their lips. When Miss 18 was small, we had a tradition where as I towel-dried her after a bath, I would always drop a kiss “on her button nose”, something she still remembers to this day.
There was the odd time when my kids would offer me a peck on the lips and I accepted it, because I felt to turn my head aside so it landed on my cheek, would hurt their feelings. (The only exception – when they were babies and would offer up a goldfish kiss. You know, big open mouth pointed in your direction. Too funny!)
But apparently now some doctor is claiming that to kiss your children on the lips is way too sexual.
Now, while personally *I* am not comfortable with it, I think that is more about *my* hangups than my kids’. When I was about 11 or 12, my stepfather slipped his tongue in (ewww!) when tucking me into bed one night. Now THAT’S too far. Funnily enough I started putting myself to bed from that day on …
I still love to give my kids hugs and kisses, and by all indications, they seem to enjoy it (but not in front of others thanks very much) – in fact sometimes they even come and ask for a hug. I kiss Mr 21 on the cheek sometimes when I give him a hug. I’ve been known to kiss the back of Miss 18’s neck when her hair is tied up, when I’ve walked up behind her for a quick hug.
However, I definitely wouldn’t be comfortable kissing them on the lips now. I watched the movie “Meet Joe Black” on the weekend and noticed that the main character, played by Sir Anthony Hopkins, kissed both of his adult daughters on the lips, which made me cringe a little … but maybe some folk think that is okay?
As far as kissing your kids on the lips when they are small, I think it’s a bit like the great smacking debate. As I’ve written before, I believe there is a right and a wrong way to smack. And so it is with kissing. There is a right and a wrong way to kiss a child. A peck on the lips – if that’s what you’re comfortable with – is fine. Slipping a tongue in? NOT FINE.
How about you? Do – or did – you kiss your children on the lips? Do you still hug and kiss them once they’re grown?