So last week I was a bit of a misery guts and posted my parenting regrets: a list of the things I wished we’d done differently over the years.
Now for the flip side: there are some things that I am really glad we did, parenting NON regrets, if you will …
1. Travelling Australia in our Caravan
The hubster took long service leave for 6 months when our children were 7 and 4 – best thing we ever did!
Not only did we get to spend lots of quality time with our children – something that was especially precious for the hubster, as he felt he had missed out on so much by being at work – but we got to explore our great country together. This was when both of our children learned to ride a bike, and got away from the PlayStation, TV etc. We spent lots of time in the great outdoors and meeting new people.
Yes, the kids missed some school (we home schooled them while away but weren’t very strict about it), but we feel they gained far more from our Great Australian Adventure, and we created some awesome family memories.
2. Being a Stay At Home Mum for a season
I was a SAHM until both my children were at school, and I will never regret that; I’m so glad I was able to be there during their formative years.
Yes, money was tight, but somehow we muddled through. I started my freelance writing career, and I not only became handy with the sewing maching, I became a very savvy op shopper … I bought brand name items and then sold them on Ebay for a profit, which all helped. And somehow we managed!
3. Having a Trampoline
Okay, so we never had a swimming pool but what we did have was a trampoline with the sides enclosed – this remained popular with both of them well into their high school years! And with the high sides, no broken bones 🙂 .
4. Giving them Opportunities
The hubster and I both felt we missed out on many opportunities when we were young: him because he grew up on a farm; and me because money was an issue in our single parent household.
So we made sure we gave our children as many opportunities as we could: piano lessons, guitar lessons, gymnastics, soccer, basketball, volleyball, and numerous other classes and hobbies. Even if they didn’t really take to any of them, at least we gave them the chance to try lots of new things.
We also made sure Miss 18 got braces when she desperately needed them, and now she has beautiful teeth.
5. Moving to a Cottage
When our children were 7 and 10, we moved into a tiny worker’s cottage. Through necessity, they learned that material things aren’t everything, and how to get along and share – there just wasn’t room to swing a cat! (However I will admit to being very glad to move into a regular sized house when our daughter turned 13. Yay for two bathrooms!)
And what a fabulous environment – it was like the “olden days” where kids could roam the street to each other’s houses, playing in each other’s yards, riding their bikes, shooting a few hoops, jumping on the trampoline.
6. Love and Hugs
And most importantly of all, we gave them lots of love and hugs and cuddles.
So although I have a few parenting regrets, as you can see, I feel we have clocked up just as many – if not more – parenting wins.
At the end of the day, we have raised two happy, healthy young adults. They are both valued by their employers for their great work ethic;  pays their own way; and have taken various steps towards their independence (eg our son with a licence and has paid off his very nice car; our daughter has flown the nest). (Update 28.04.16: Mr 21 is now studying fulltime for a degree in Commerce, and juggling that with part-time work; Miss 19 has just returned from her first trip to Europe).They’re not finished yet – but then, who is?!
What do you think of as your parenting NON regrets?
I have no regrets whatsoever about telling my kids how much I love them numerous times each day! They also all receive multiple cuddles from me and I have told them to expect these until the day I die regardless of how old they are! I also have no regrets for the time I spend each night putting them to bed (even though they are old enough to go to bed on their own) where we lie down together and discuss how their day was and anything else they wish to discuss. Its a great way to keep the lines of communication open.
Janet – I’m going to read your post on parenting regrets, because I’m sure I can learn from regrets (I have a few as they say), but you have done so many things right judging by this post. The round Australia trip would have been a great experience (we lived in Canada for a year which was great too, although our son was only a baby so won’t remember it). Love that photo of hubby giving his big boy a big hug.
My kids made it well into their 20’s. That’s my biggest win… or maybe the flipside. I made it to my children’s 20’s. Either way, we’re winning. 🙂
Such a great post and awesome to concentrate on the positive side of parenting. All too often we fail to remember the good and concentrate too much on the fails.
This is beautiful and has made me look at my parenting non regrets. I probably have many but one which stands out was when I started a children fitness centre with my sister when our kids were little. We may have lost money on it but my children met the original Hi-5, met lots of new people and were able to experience daily activities other kids would only dream about.
Congratulations on bringing up two well-adjusted adults! I think that is the main thing. You can never give them enough hugs and love. Also giving them opportunities to explore their talents whether it be sport, dance or music. They say you reap what you sow. 🙂
Aww. Lovely post, Janet. You are such a proud mum and rightly so. Love and hugs is at the top of my list as is providing them with plenty of opportunity to explore and learn new things.
Great post, it really is about the time and quality that you spend with your kids, that far outweighs the toys etc 🙂
I loved this post Janet!
What a great idea to reflect on what you’re glad you have done.
I don’t regret being a SAHM either, no matter what we have had to go without.
So awesome Janet. I would love to travel around Australia in a caravan, it’s definitely on my bucket list. I definitely don’t regret making the decision to become a SAHM after Zee was born. Or the decision to go back to studying while they are little so that when they are both at school I will have something that I can turn in to a career in order to contribute more for the things we’d love to give them access to.
#teamIBOT
Great post…love that you listed travelling Australia with them up the top. We have done lots of short trips with our kids and it is just the best way to spend time together as a family. Another parenting win for us would be moving to Queensland. They have had far more opportunities education wise here than they would have in the small town we came from.
We loved it so much, the hubster and I are keen to do it all again as grey nomads. You never know, by then our kids might have kids and want to come with us!