Ahhh middle age … I might have a category on this blog called “the joys of middle age” but perhaps it should be taken as “tongue in cheek”.
Some days there seems to be more to moan about than rejoice in – and plenty of rude shocks! Read on and you’ll see what I mean …
A – Aches and pains. There are little niggles every other day, sometimes after a bout of activity as you become aware of muscles you didn’t know you had, others – who knows?!
B – Breast screening. Bowel screening. Blah … need I say more?
C – Chub rub and chafing. I never had this problem until the last couple of years – some might say it’s associated with weight gain, but I think it’s just middle age.
D – Diet. This is the time of life when years of eating rubbish catches up with you. Suddenly your metabolism is not working like it used to, and things like high cholesterol mean that you need to focus on eating more healthily, and restricting the amount of food you eat 🙁 .
E – Elastic waists. I avoided them for years thinking they were supremely daggy. But guess what? I couldn’t survive without my elastic waists these days, they cater for my tummy which seems to expand one day and shrink the next. Thank heavens for long tops and tunics that hide my guilty secret!
F – Food sensitivities. Maybe it’s just me but I’m finding the number of foods that trigger a reaction in my body, is slowly increasing. I’ve long known about my banana intolerance, but now I find pineapple in any form gives me painful mouth ulcers, too much onion gives me wind (sorry is that TMI?!), while I can no longer gorge myself on stone fruit unless I want tummy pains afterwards …
G – Grey hairs. I’m one of the lucky ones and am only just starting to get a few grey strands 🙂 (much to the disgust of my two younger sisters who tell me that without the help of Clairol they would be completely grey!).
H – Hair growing in places it shouldn’t. For men, it might be on their backs, shoulders or out of their ears. Personally? I’ve noticed a couple of moles on my face which now sprout a hair or two, and require regularly plucking!
I – Insomnia and difficulties with sleep. Once upon a time I would go to sleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. Now I find it takes a lot longer than that while my Bear snoozes away beside me, making me very jealous!
J – Joking, jesting and jumping around are at your own risk. Come on girls you know what I’m talking about – a little thing called LBL …
K – Knowing that it’s harder to find a job as age discrimination comes into play. Employers just don’t seem to value maturity, experience and wisdom, they want cool and funky millennials!
L – Losing hair. I’ve noticed I seem to have a lot more hair falling out when I wash or comb it.
M – Memory lapses. Now what was I saying?!
N – Night sweats and hot flushes. Just two of the joys of coming into menopause.
O – Owwww! The exclamation we make when we notice another ache or pain. When we first moved into this house we were sleeping on a mattress on the floor, and let me tell you, it was a lot more of a challenge to get up than I remember from when I was a young ‘un …
P – Peach fuzz on the face. Have you noticed, hair is becoming a real theme on this list?!
Q – Queenslanders in particular really have to be vigilant for skin cancers.
R – Reading glasses. I find I need to wear reading glasses all the time – if not on my nose, then pushed up in my hair (like sunnies) where I can pull them down when needed. I refuse to get one of those ropes to put them around my neck … that looks old …
S – Sandwich generation. Middle aged folk often find that this is the time that they are caring for teenagers/young adults AND their own parents are in need of more help.
T – Tablets and medication. How many pills do you pop each day? The number on my bedside table is slowly increasing – I’ve just added blood pressure medication to the mix …
U – Under the radar. Once you hit middle age, it’s a lot easier to fly under the radar because you become pretty much invisible. Which is great when you need to pop out to the shops in grubby yard clothes, messy hair and no makeup, but sometimes … I miss the attention!
V – Vision. The fine print is almost impossible to read, or you wish for longer arms to hold your book. Or you cave and get reading glasses.
W – Weight gain, especially around the waist. It’s time to battle with middle aged spread. Oh, and what about wrinkles?
X – It’s common to have an eXistential crisis in middle age. Affairs, flash new cars, going to the gym, plastic surgery …
Y – You realise that there are more yesterdays in your life than there will be tomorrows …
Z – Zzzzzzzz! Or am I the only one that is always tired?!
Now before you think I am a complete “Debbie Downer”, I have another blog post in the works tentatively titled “The A to Z of Middle Aged Marvels” – you know me – always trying to look on the bright side!
Have I missed anything on my list of middle aged moanings?