The Boys Strut Their Stuff

My family likes to take the mickey out of me, about the way I pose for outfit photos.

According to the husbear, as soon as a camera is pointed in my direction, I have a habit of “contorting” – adopting a stance that looks unnatural and awkward.

In my defence, I’ve learned that just because the resulting photo looks natural, doesn’t mean that the pose (or anything else about it) is. In fact, the most flattering angles and poses in front of the lens are usually anything but natural!

Here are just some of the things that run through my head when it’s time for a photo, even if I am just using my mobile phone and a remote:

• Camera angle: Preferably slightly above me. Too low and it gives me more chins than a Chinese phone book; too high and it makes my body look too small for my head.
• Lighting: Taking photos outside, but in the shade, is usually the best bet.
• Background: Make sure there are no random bags or wheelbarrows in the background (more common photo bloopers here)!
• Posture: Stand up straight, shoulders back.
• Chin: Make sure to look “over the fence” to eliminate double chin and help define my neck.
• Ears: Is my hair hiding the one ear that tends to stick out?
• Arms: Holding my upper arms back slightly minimises any tuckshop lady bulges.
• Hands: One hand seems to naturally gravitate to my hip – perhaps because I know this is a flattering if pretentious-looking pose! Or if they are down by my side, make sure they are relaxed and not clenched.
• Hair: Am I having a good hair day?
• Tummy: Hold my stomach in.
• Smile: Try to make it look natural and fun, knowing that if I smile too much, it creases up my eyes so you can barely see them. So at the same time I am trying to keep them open.
• Feet: One foot in front of another usually looks good in photos.

All this – and yet I also need to try not too look like I’m thinking too hard as that will only make me look constipated (as in the pic below)!

Is it any wonder that for every one image you actually get to see here on the blog or on my Facebook or Instagram, there are about 50 that didn’t make the cut?!

Meh, boys. What do they know about #fashun?!

Does your family make fun of you for anything in particular?