How are your Christmas preparations coming along?
Our tree is up, and my Christmas shopping is almost finished!
Long term readers of this blog might be surprised that I even want to talk about Christmas preparations. I used to hate all the kerfuffle of the festive season, from Christmas entertaining to the blatant commercialism and pressure to spend, spend, spend.
But over the years I have moved from loathing, to having mixed feelings, and now … I have learned the secrets to not only stress less about Christmas, but to actually enjoy it!
Here’s how it happened …
Question How it’s Always Been Done
A few years back we stopped and thought about how we would LIKE to spend Christmas Day itself, rather than what was expected of us.
When we first got together, because my parents were divorced we had THREE sets of parents to visit on or around Christmas Day, which meant we spent a lot of time in the car – and almost none in our own home.
After spending hours stuck in a traffic jam on Christmas Day a few years ago, we realised things had to change.
It might seem selfish to some, but we decided we want to spend Christmas Day at our own home and that is what we have done ever since. We do sometimes have a friend/family member join us, if we know they will otherwise be at a loose end. I can’t tell you what a joy it is to be able to have a relaxed Christmas Day at home! (We still catch up with family at that time of year, just not on the Big Day itself.)
I’ve found that we actually enjoy cooking a Christmas dinner, decorating, opening presents, etc because we don’t have to rush off and be somewhere else.
Besides, now our own kids are grown up and have partners of their own, we can let the next generation worry about doing the rounds π . But I solemnly promise I will never have a hissy fit just because they don’t manage to see us on Christmas Day itself, like my own mother tended to do …
Simplifying Gift Giving
When we used to do the rounds at Christmas, a Kris Kringle made gift giving a lot easier (and less expensive).
However now we don’t actually SEE folk on Christmas Day, we no longer have to worry about being a part of it. It got tougher every year anyway as family members started living further apart, and leading their own lives – how do you buy for somebody when you have no clue what they really want?
Younger family members aren’t left out, we like to give them a small amount of money to spend how they please (and they can take advantage of the Christmas sales). One branch of the family spends a lot on presents, and we hated feeling like it was a competition. Doing it this way, we are happily waving the white flag of surrender. We’re not entering into the fray!
The husbear and I always SAY we are going to give the kidults money for Christmas (and they’d be very happy with that) – but in a strange way it REALLY takes the pressure off! As a result we usually end up picking out gifts for them too, purely for the fun of it π .
We try to tell the kidults not to go overboard buying for us … but they’re not very good at listening, LOL. Since they’ve been earning themselves, they have been so generous which is super sweet … but, I now understand why our own parents have said for years, not to worry about getting them anything for Christmas (even if they still spoil us).
We know how expensive it can be to set yourself up as an adult and the financial responsibilities it can involve, so we don’t want to be a drain on their budget. We’d much rather spoil them!
Besides at this time of life, if we really want anything we can get it for ourselves. It’s true: it’s not about the money, it’s the thought that counts. Something little and personal is much more appreciated.
My other tip for gift giving made easy, is to take advantage of online shopping, and avoid the pandemonium (though you need to do it early). And if you’re really stuck for gift ideas, here are some posts I’ve written which you may find useful:
- Gift Ideas for Crazy Cat Ladies
- Gift Ideas for Middle Aged Men
- Gift Ideas for Kids with Too Many Toys
- Quirky Kris Kringle Ideas
- Books for Middle Aged Women to Enjoy
Forget about Making it Perfect
So many of us strive to put on the “perfect” Christmas. First of all, there’s no such thing as PERFECT so you are only setting yourself up for failure.
And secondly, it’s those times that things tend to go awry, that make for the best stories in years to come …
For example, we like to glaze a ham for Christmas lunch. Except there was this one time a couple of years ago, when we left it too late to buy our ham and they were all sold out.
We ended up buying ham steaks instead, and glazing those – it was a lot cheaper AND still tasted amazing! Plus we still laugh about it now. Just because things don’t work out “perfectly” doesn’t mean that it has to ruin Christmas.
Watch Christmas Movies
This year, the husbear and I have been watching lots of Christmas movies on Netflix, and it really does help to set the mood and make you feel like it truly is a magical time of year.
The Secret to Enjoying Christmas
Our way of celebrating Christmas might not be for everyone, but it sure helps my mental health at this time of year.
However, I think the biggest tip I can pass on from my experience is this:
Remind yourself you don’t HAVE to do anything … and suddenly you will find that you are doing things, and getting into the Christmas spirit, simply because you WANT to.
And that my friends, is my secret to enjoying Christmas!
What is YOUR best tip on keeping the stress levels contained at Christmas?!
Kez @ Awesomely Unprepared says
I love your tips! I get really excited about Christmas, but the last few years with CERTAIN people I will not name, it got a bit stressful. They would change the format constantly, put super controlling rules in place, seem to take for granted that we are the only people who have to run around on the day, start fights over petty things so by the time Christmas arrived everyone was on tenterhooks etc etc.
Now I think a balance has been found and some ground rules have been established. For example, nobody is to mess with my elderly grandparents who can only do lunch. Everyone else has to work around it for as long as it takes for us to enjoy their later years (they’re the only grandparents left on both sides of my husband’s and my families). It has to be understood on the inlaws’ side that we are the only ones with two families in the same state/easily drivable area, but that doesn’t mean we can be walked all over and be everywhere on the day. Nobody else is expected to! We are more than happy to catch up around the day itself but it’s unfair to expect us to do it all for equal amounts of time etc on the 25th. It’s not a competition! On my inlaws’ side which is bigger than my side, we buy the under 18s gifts only. We can give token gifts – think handmade – to the adults. The main thing is to not lose our Christmas spirit – making it about love and family and giving (not necessarily materialistically but having that generosity of spirit). In past years THOSE PEOPLE who will not be named would suck that right out of the experience and made all of their “rules” about trying to avoid the spirit and control everyone else to lack the spirit too. I wondered why the hell they were even bothering to be honest.
Janet Camilleri says
Oh I feel your pain Kez, I’m glad you have been able to find a balance. It’s funny how we fall into habits and what is “expected” particularly once we hit adulthood, it’s a really good idea to hit the pause button and make a conscious decision about Christmas and how we want to celebrate it. Not everybody in our fam agrees with what we are doing but you’re never going to make everyone happy even in you turn yourself into a pretzel bending over backwards trying to please everybody!
Jo Tracey says
I’m more excited about Christmas this year than I have been in years. I think it’s because we’re up here, we have friends coming over from NZ, & for the first time since we’ve been together, we’re catering Christmas ourselves. It could also be because we don’t have the family responsibility this year – although I feel so so guilty about that.
Jo Castro says
I agree Janet, Christmas can get all sorts of crazy with so many expectations placed upon everyone that in the end it just becomes a competition. We shall have a very quiet Christmas day this year (with glazed ham!) and our grown up kids will like yours be given money, and a small gift to make them smile on the big day.
Deborah says
I’ve not been a big fan of Christmas since I was little. I expect it would have been different if I’d had kids.
My birthday’s also between Xmas and New Year so there’s that challenge of having a birthday when everyone’s away / tired / partied out etc..
This year it’s just my mum and I and I recently bought her an iPad so I might get her a little surprise or two. I think she’s giving me money and she’ll throw in something from santa – usually undies / chockies, bath products etc… It’ll be low-key and not at all stressful. #teamlovinlife
Alicia O'Brien says
The stories told at Christmas time are the best! Looking forward to laughing with the fam in a few weeks π
We all usually pitch in together on Christmas day, someone brings this and someone brings that. Makes it easier for whoever is putting it on. Spending half the day in the car doesn’t sound like much fun at all x
Jenni | Unclutter Your Universe says
Like you Janet, we opted out of all the Christmas should do’s several years ago and now enjoy a relaxed Christmas the way that we want to. We’re a bit late putting up the tree and decorations this year, as we move house next Monday, but now doubt they will all be up before that week is out.
Lyndall @ SeizeTheDayProject says
Christmas isn’t the same now that both my husband’s and my parents have passed away. We’ve had a small quiet Christmas the past couple of years as a result. This year, we will be going to my brother’s place and there will be 12 of us there, including our children’s cousins, which will be awesome. We’re all bringing some food and everything will be put on the table and shared. No, it won’t be perfect, but that doesn’t matter to us. All that matters is being with our loved ones… it’s been a long time coming and we can’t wait to be together π
Kathy Marris says
Yes we used to spread ourselves thin on Christmas Day trying to visit our parents (who are both divorced). We gave up on this silliness many years ago and now just focus on our own little family. We have even taken off in our caravan on a couple of occasions and completely got away from the expectations of Christmas. Great post Janet. #TeamLovinLife
Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life says
I love your suggestion of not making everything perfect! Too often I try to make everything perfect rather than just relaxing and realising that no one other than me cares if everything is perfect or not when I am hosting Christmas!
Ingrid
http://www.fabulousandfunlife.blogspot.com.au
Denyse says
Christmas is so different for us now but over the years it changed as my Mum passed on, then Dad became too stressed about driving to us. We lived in a part of Sydney’s north west around an hour (longer at Christmas) from Dad and my brother and his family are close to Dad’s. So, we downsized Christmas day and expectations as it also became challenging as our kids were adults with their own families and expectations too. Sigh. Last Christmas we spent together (just us, our children and their children) was in December 2014 before we made the move up here. Since then each family does their thing – there are separated and divorced families in the mix as do we. Just us two. It is a bit strange but we are getting used to it and we have decorated the house in a minor way and we are HOPING I can eat part of a baked meal. Our oldest grandkids – one has a car – are popping in on Boxing Day for morning tea as they go to their other grandparents for lunch and most conveniently they too live on the Central Coast.
I am blessed to have so many memories of Christmasses that were awesome and filled with the fun of little grandkids but they are almost all (bar 2) of school and Uni age now. Time passes!
I am a Christmas kid at heart. I play music in the car too!
Denyse xx
Nola Passmore says
Great tips, Janet. We usually just have my parents come up to us, so it’s easy. Quirky Quills started a new Christmas tradition last year – Recycled Christmas. It was getting expensive to buy gifts for our growing group of 8, so we decided that we would still exchange gifts but they had to fit one of these categories: (a) something we already own that we regift, (b) something we’ve handmade or baked, using things we already have at home (as far as possible), or (c) something cheap from the op shop. The cards and wrapping paper are also handmade or recycled. We agreed that last year was the best Christmas we’d had. Everyone was thrilled to see the thought that people had put into selecting just the right thing for each person and it was better than the years when we’d spent a small fortune. We’re doing it again in a week’s time.
With two weeks to go, I haven’t written my Christmas letter, but I’m starting to wonder whether it’s really worth the stress. I’m sure we were meant to remember the ‘reason for the season’ rather than getting stressed to the hilt. Good on you. And have a fabulous Christmas xx